If you live to be more than half a century you find yourself repeating certain things over and over. For example, you may eat Chinese food every New Year’s Eve, or you may vacation at Cape May every summer. And then there are the little things. You may get a Cafe Mocha at Starbucks every Thursday or a bagel every Friday. We are creatures of habit. There is comfort in sameness and predictability.
Well if you do something on the same day every year, and year after year, it’s safe to say you have created a tradition. Traditions start out innocently enough. There is a spark of inspiration and an act that is received well by others.
“Let’s host a Halloween party,” you may have said innocently back when such parties were rare. Now, 20 years later, you are still hosting that party. It’s a tradition.
As readers of this blog know, I was married on the day after Thanksgiving in 1978. So after my new bride and I returned from our honeymoon, it was time to prepare for Christmas. Back then, the Christmas season did not actually start until Santa arrived in the Macy’s Parade on Thanksgiving. And since the official Christmas season began later, it was not unusual for people to begin shopping just a week or two before Christmas. I was just at that point.
If you’re like me, one of the first things you did as a new couple was to merge your book and record collections. And so on a Monday afternoon in early December 1978 I merged my Christmas records with my wife’s. Back then, my work schedule got me home several hours before my wife. So after looking at all the combined Christmas music, I decided that I had some time and we needed a mix tape highlighting the best Christmas recordings from our respective collections.
I wanted to use tracks from the Carpenters Christmas album because it was one that we both loved. I put the needle down on the record and heard Richard Carpenter’s ethereal voice reciting the words to “O Come O Come Emmanuel” at the start of a great instrumental medley of songs. But I didn’t want to start the mix tape out cold with a solo voice. Just then, I noticed that my Philadelphia-born wife had in her collection a recording of Christmas music by Eugene Ormandy and the Philadelphia Symphony. And as luck would have it, there was a beautiful string-heavy recording of “O Come O Come Emmanuel.” I had my opening to the Christmas mix tape. We would go from the lush sounds of the Philadelphia Symphony right into Richard Carpenter’s solo voice and then on to that great medley.
It continued that way throughout the tape. I would use an instrumental followed by a vocal of the same song. Herb Alpert’s Christmas album (one record in both our collections) provided many of the instrumentals. My collection provided vocals by Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby. My wife’s collection provided the same from Andy Williams and Perry Como. At the end, we had a beautiful mixing of our favorite Christmas music. My wife liked it so much, she put a label on the cassette box naming this “The Good Christmas Tape.”
That could have been the end of the story, but here is where tradition comes in. The next year, on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, we came home from church, having celebrated the first Sunday of Advent. One of the hymns traditionally sung in Catholic churches on the first Sunday of Advent is “O Come O Come Emmanuel.” Having that tune in my head, as soon as we got home, I put the “Good Christmas Tape” in the cassette player and the beautiful sounds of Eugene Ormandy’s version of “O Come O Come Emmanuel” filled the apartment. A tradition had begun.
The following year on the same Sunday I played the same tape, and the year after that, and the year after that. And so it was that when I played “The Good Christmas Tape” this year (transferred to a CD sometime in the ’90s), I announced it as the 36th consecutive year. It’s amazing how fast the years have gone by, and how great it is to have a tradition to herald the season. Because after all, tradition is what the holiday season is all about.
I am a sucker for any thing, or place, that is 1000 years old, or older. I walk around the Metropolitan Museum of Art snapping pictures of home decor circa 500 BC and wish I could buy it today.
And this love for the old is just one more reason why Transylvania works for anyone who has a penchant for the past. With its brooding hills and overbearing fortresses, it does not take a lot of imagination to teleport yourself back to the HBO show “Game of Thrones,” where competing armies and enemies endlessly vie for control of the castle.
In Prejmer, a town that’s about an hour away from Dracula’s castle, you can revisit a world where knights in shining armor defended themselves behind fortress walls with crossbows and sling arrows and boiling oil. It is one of the best preserved medieval fortresses and fortified wooden churches built by the Saxons in Transylvania.
The foundations of the fortification were laid down in the 13th century by the Order of the Teutonic Knights. Its walls are over 40 feet high and 10 feet thick.
As you enter this self-contained complex that in essence functions as a military outpost, housing unit, and place of worship, you know you have left the 21st century behind. You pass under a gate, but this is not a mere swinging door. It is a portcullis grill, made of oak and reinforced with iron and ornamented with sharp spears to either impale the intruder or trap him inside.
The first thing you see is the church, a blend of Byzantine and gothic architecture. Inside there are flying buttresses, painted historical tryptichs and gorgeous wooden carved pews.
As you circumnavigate the dark, dank passage designed to keep the enemy down and out and look out the peephole windows you can imagine what it must have felt like to see marauders on the horizon and knew that it was time to start preparing for battle.
There is also a four-story 15th century apartment complex comprised of 270 individual units that appear to be no longer than 10 feet long and 5 feet high and 5 feet wide.
These cubicles may have been cramped, but they served the purpose of providing shelter and storage when the village was under attack.
One of the things I love about New York are the umpteen billion restaurants that offer every cuisine in the world. When I first moved here in 1988 my goal was to never go to the same restaurant twice. I would cut out reviews and paste them into old calendar diaries and consult them anytime there was to be an eating out experience. I still have those books with their faded yellow newsprint.
Many of the restaurants I tried are still living and breathing in Manhattan, but so many others closed before I ever got there. There is an incredible turnover rate in New York. I still compile lists of restaurants; it’s a habit I cannot break (and which many of my friends appreciate when they need ideas of where to eat).
These days the barrenness of the computer holds my lists and I too have changed. I have become much less rigid that every restaurant I eat in MUST BE SOMEPLACE NEW. In fact these days I tend to prefer the comfort, consistency and usually the convenience of the tried and true. And because so many new restaurants seem to be ridiculously expensive and/or way too rarefied for my plebian tastebuds, less and less often do I discover a restaurant that screams “Revisit Me!”
Zerza on 6th street between 1st and 2nd Avenues did. A friend and I were en route to the usual go-to Indian restaurant in the neighborhood but looked inside and stood inside and thought “Why not?”
It is Moroccan. The interior is inviting subtle light, minimal decor and yet the motif was reverential of the cuisine’s root.
So far it seems to be an undiscovered gem, but I am not down there on a Saturday night when the East Village is a jammed madhouse of gridlock and it is near impossible to enter any restaurant without the expected 50 minute wait. The two times I have been there, it’s so nice because it means you can converse without shouting.
And the food is delicious. The menu includes traditional appetizers like hummus and baba ghanoush, but also others that I had never tried like bakoula, a spinach based spread studded with chickpeas and spices, garlic, cilantro, and cumin. It’s addictive. They also serve an arugula salad topped with beets, oranges, and pistachio-crusted goat cheese dressed in a perfectly balanced balsamic vinaigrette and they definitely have the best tagines around town.
Whether you are ordering lamb tagine jelbana, “slow cooked lamb shank in Moroccan spices, with artichoke hearts and green peas” or chicken tagine with preserved lemons and olives, the meat falls off the bones. The short rib mrouzia described as “braised beef short rib with prunes and roasted almonds” is unctuously compelling. For dessert there is homemade ice cream, maybe made with hazelnuts or figs.
It’s just so nice to go to a place that has not been franchised, does not cost $50 for an entree, and you can converse without screaming.
There has long been a dichotomy among Americans. Some love cities; some love the country. Over the course of the last 200 years, Americans have been voting with their feet and cities have been winning. Still many prefer the rural life, at least some of the time. But whether you’re a city or a country person, most people agree that at Christmastime our cities shine.
Tourism in our great cities like London, Rome and New York increases dramatically in late December. People flock to see the store windows, the churches and the Christmas trees. Christmas music and Christmas theater abounds. In New York, the Rockettes head up a Christmas Spectacular at Radio City Music Hall. Our concert halls and churches echo the glory of Handel’s “Messiah.” The Salvation Army rings its bells on street corners. It’s the scene saluted in the popular song “Silver Bells.”
City sidewalks, busy sidewalks.
Dressed in holiday style
In the air there’s a feeling of Christmas
Children laughing, people passing
Meeting smile after smile
and on every street corner you’ll hear
Silver bells, silver bells
It’s Christmas time in the city
I think that Christmas time in the city is magical. It is the one time of year when avowed country people are willing to put up with the city crowds. In New York they flock to Rockefeller Center, to Macy’s, Saks and FAO SCHWARZ. They marvel at the decorations on Fifth Avenue. They enjoy ice skating, walks in the park, and of course, the sound of silver bells.
And as the song says, “In the air there’s a feeling of Christmas.” I swear, it’s palpable. There’s nothing like a city at Christmas.
… that it’s dark in the morning when we get up, and it’s dark late afternoon as we head home. Reading on the beach is months away. So we’re tucking away our summer-shades header, and raising our winter (eye) glasses to honor the coming solstice and a good read, inside, by the fire.
No one wants to “get old.” But who wants to “be young?”
I am glad I grew up in a world with land lines. The beauty of being housebound when communicating by telephone, having to grip a solid ergonomically designed handle that cradled comfortably in your neck as you yakked away with your best friend while lounging on the bed. This was circa 1970 and a huge part of my “being young” which I would never trade. The clammy interface of a smart phone that places us “on-call” 24/7 is what the youth of today will rue when they hit the right side of 50. How sterile.
Growing up without Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, etc. What a blessing. Not that there wasn’t pressure to be heard and seen among your peers, (which is basically what drives social media), but the small (and familiar) community of high school dictated the universe that counted, not the entire (and anonymous) digital world.
Airplanes with two-tier pricing. There was first class, where the seats were a little bigger and the meals a little better; and there was second class with decent leg room and decent meals. Food, beverage, and baggage were all included in the price of the ticket. To step foot in an airport today means that you have already navigated a multiplex pricing/seating/eating system of additional fees and perhaps torn your hair out in the process.
Movies with giant screens, velvet chairs, no commercials and a preview or two. This latest gimmick I read about to encourage the smart-phone generation to come to the movies makes me so happy I have left the left side of 29 behind:
Having tried 3-D films, earsplitting sound systems and even alcohol sales in pursuit of younger moviegoers, some theater chains are now installing undulating seats, scent machines and 270-degree screens.
For an $8 premium, a Regal theater here even sprays patrons with water and pumps scents (burning rubber, gun powder) into the auditorium. Can’t cope with two hours away from your smartphone? One theater company has found success with instant on-screen messaging — the texted comments pop up next to the action.being slathered in movie theatre perfume and being an unwitting audience to the text messages of strangers just sounds beyond uninviting. theme park experience when I want to see a movie.
Being slathered in perfume and unwittingly subjected to the text messages of strangers strikes me as a modern day scenario of Sartre’s vision of hell in the play No Exit.
So while I do not like the changes I perceive on the exterior of my body or the aches I feel in the interior of my body, I draw infinite pleasure in remembering the way it was.
Thanksgiving’s over, and we’re just now getting ready to trash the last leftovers haunting our refrigerator. Pies seem to keep for a very long time, begging to be eaten because, although they may grow dry and crusty around the edges, the centers are still sweet. Week-old stuffing and string beans, on the other hand, have lost all their charms, slowly dissolving into too-moist masses of faded flavor.
We’ve got to clear that stuff out to make way for the invasion of Christmas foods a mere three weeks from now. We’ll dutifully keep those leftovers for a week, then discard them to make room for the New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day feast-leavings. It’s a tough season for those of us fortunate enough to be faced with the problem of far too much of everything.
Somewhere along the way it feels like we’ve missed the message. Did anyone actually give thanks on Thanksgiving? I don’t mean a pro forma prayer recited over an overladen table as a gang of relatives salivated, hovering over plates with utensils in hand, half listening to broadcast football and hoping you don’t drone on too long.
No, I mean really give thanks. As in sitting alone and quietly reflecting on the many blessings, great and small, that fill your life. My list includes a loving wife, and our uniquely beautiful, funny, and wonderful children; my six siblings and elderly Mom whom I love dearly; a spacious, comfortable home; clean clothes; enough food in our two refrigerators and basement freezer to feed an African village for a month; a really good car; a clean bill of health. A sweet dog who wags his stubby tail like a runaway metronome whenever we come home.
There’s more — mundane but meaningful blessings like health and dental insurance coverage; a good mattress on the bed; lots of great books to read; two acoustic guitars that sing better than I do; a view of the ocean from our front porch; fresh parsley in the yard we’re still harvesting despite the coming cold.
Thanksgiving has become rote: there’s a big parade in New York, a big meal on the table, football on TV, and almost unbearable hoopla over the start of the Christmas season. That was last week. Now it’s quiet, and every day, I’m quietly giving thanks.