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Search results for: Margie Rubin

How to Host a Murder(er)

13 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by WS50 in Confessional

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confessional, Margie Rubin, The Write Side of 50

do we ever really know who someone is?

BY MARGIE RUBIN

Twenty five years ago, I was teaching a group of elementary students with emotional and behavior disorders. Many of these students were bright, but their behavior kept them out of the general education classes. My goal, besides teaching them academics, was to help them learn coping strategies, social skills, and acceptable classroom behaviors. In other words, “how to do school.”  

And the best teachers of acceptable behavior were peers. Which brings me to my dinner with a serial killer. You see, a dedicated special-ed teacher would do just about anything to get his or her students mainstreamed.  The 4th grade teacher, whom I will call CIndy, took an immediate liking to me (mostly because I was pregnant and she had a thing for babies). She offered me a place for my students, and dinner at her house. As I munched on Ritz crackers and Velveeta, my husband bonded with Cindy’s husband (whom I will call George), over their love of carpentry, and the very cool hammer collection he had.  

Dinner was not memorable, but after dinner we were ushered into their velvet-walled  bedroom to watch their cheesy wedding video on the Hornblower yacht. We said our thank-yous, and made our escape as quickly as we could. A year later, I was no longer teaching at that school, but my dear friend had taken over my class, and pretty much begged me to have Cindy and George over to dinner with her and her husband. After all, I was the one with the baby Cindy could oogle over. And think of the mainstreaming opportunities.  

I  acquiesced, and invited everyone over to play “How to Host a Murder” a popular game in the ’90s we had gotten for a gift. I knew things were going to be strange when Cindy showed up at my house in a full-length mink coat. My only other memory of that night was when George was revealed as the murderer in the game.

Ten years later, my husband was reading the Sunday Chronicle, and yelled for me to come quick. On the front page, was a large picture of George. He looked a little older, and fatter, but we both recognized him immediately. The headline said that he was arrested for attempted murder of a prostitute. You see, according to the police, he had raped her, beat her with a hammer and thrown her into San Francisco Bay thinking she was dead. What he didn’t count on was her faking her death to get away. As disturbing as that was, what really did us in was the fact that George was linked to numerous murders of prostitutes spanning 20 years and yes, he had killed all of them with his nifty hammer collection. He got a 375-year sentence, and we got a story to share.

do you know 3

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One Foot in San Francisco, and One Foot (and My Heart) in New York

10 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by WS50 in Confessional

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

California, confessional, Margie Rubin, New York City, The Write Side of 50

Thanksgiving Day 2013

A warm Thanksgiving Day 2013.

BY MARGIE RUBIN

My childhood memories of Thanksgiving Day growing up in New York include loud family gatherings, ridiculous amounts of food, and a brisk walk after dinner.  Since I moved to California, 40 years ago, two big differences are that Thanksgiving feasts consist of more friends than family, and the weather is closer to a New York summer day than the wintry cold of the Northeast.

Shorts in November!

Shorts in November.

Last weekend, six of us got to spend time with our dear friends at their beautiful beach house in Monterey. We took long walks along the beach, had breakfast at a Russian mom-and-pop restaurant on the water, made homemade ceviche from the day’s fish catch, and had lots of laughs. But I must say, the highlight was our group bike ride along the Pacific coast. In shorts and tee shirts. Really? Late November, and shorts and tee shirts?

Which is why I choose to live in California. While it can’t compare culturally to New York City and its food – the Bay Area cannot compete with New York bagels, pizza, and pastrami – the truth is, I can see a Broadway play when it’s in San Francisco at a cheaper price. I don’t eat meat, so I don’t miss deli food, and I love the fact that I can be outdoors all year round. That being said, I love New York, and I feel fortunate to have a foot in each world. Now if I could only get my New York family to put a foot out here!

Hey Mom come on over and take a bike ride?

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My Husband’s Gift of a Lifetime: Free Pass to National Parks

03 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by WS50 in Travel

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Margie Rubin, National Parks, Senior Pass, The Write Side of 50, Travel

Margie and Phil at the Grand Canyon

Margie and Phil at the Grand Canyon.

BY MARGIE RUBIN

As I head out of my 50s, my husband’s advanced years have turned out to be a gift for the two of us. Last year he turned 62, and was eligible for the $10 lifetime pass to all national parks. So we decided to make our rounds to get our money’s worth, and had friends lining up to join us on our adventures. You see, not only do he and I get in for free, but everyone in our car gets to benefit as well. No matter how old or young they might be.

Our journeys so far:

Trip 1: The Grand Canyon.

This is where we purchased the sacred pass, and chose to do this one by ourselves. Spectacular rim vistas; perfect hiking weather; limited animal sightings. After two days of hiking, both in and out of the canyon, we left completely satisfied at being able to cross that one off our bucket list.

Trip 2: Denali National Park, Alaska.

Margie and buddy in Denali.

Margie and buddy in Denali.

Drastically different from the Grand Canyon – no walking trails, no food or drinks sold in the park, no sweeping vistas of the mountain (too foggy), and long bus rides being the only option to see the park. Best part of that trip was being with dear, old friends (we were celebrating Jack’s 60th), and taking a guided hike where only one other group is allowed to hike per season. Also saw a moose up close!

Trip 3: Glacier National Park.

Glacier2

My favorite. We also got to experience this one with close friends, one of whom spent three summers 35 years ago working at the park. He planned the whole trip (the job I usually do), which I greatly appreciated. Glacier had the perfect combination of magnificent scenery, and close-up animal sightings. We saw grizzlies, black bears, mountain goats, and big-horned sheep – just to name a few.

We also took an outstanding hike in Waterton to beautiful Crypt Lake. I happened to be reading Cheryl Strayed’s best seller, “Wild” about her life-altering experience hiking the Pacific Coast Trail. I believe if I had not been reading this book, I would never have found the courage to climb the ladder on the mountain face, crawl through the narrow tunnel, and pull myself over 15 feet of cables to make it to the other side of the mountain. This was the only way in and out of the lake, and well worth the challenge.

All told, I highly recommend that all 62 year olds run to their nearest national park to buy a lifetime pass! It’s the best thing to happen to seniors since Medicare.

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Me and Bobby (And Mrs. Ruvusky)

21 Thursday Nov 2013

Posted by WS50 in Confessional

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confessional, High School Reunion, Margie Rubin, The Write Side of 50

photo-1

Me and Bobby – not a day over age seven.

BY MARGIE RUBIN

I recently opted out of attending my 40th high school reunion. Nobody I knew was going, and I had no desire to make small talk with a bunch of middle-aged strangers. I’m sure those who went wondered, “Will I recognize anyone?” Or more to the point, “Will anyone recognize me?” All of which brings me to the story of Bobby and Mrs. Ruvusky.

When I was 22, I went to see the comic, Bobby Slayton, at a club in San Francisco. While getting a drink at the bar before the show, the comedian approached me and said, “I know you.” I told him I knew him too – he was the headliner, Bobby Slayton. He repeated that he knew me from Mrs. Ruvusky’s Hebrew school class. Didn’t I remember him as the class clown? I admitted that I had no recollection of him, or anything else from 2nd grade. Turns out, he moved after that year, and hadn’t seen me since I was seven. Did I change that little in 15 years?

Fast forward to last December. Bobby Slayton was performing at a local improv club. My husband and I, and two other couples, decided to go. The price was right – no cover and a two-drink minimum. After the show, Bobby was selling his DVD in the lobby. I was nervous that he wouldn’t recognize me after 35 years, but knew I had to take the plunge, and find out. I approached him, and asked him if he knew me? Without skipping a beat he said, “Mrs. Ruvusky’s 2nd grade Hebrew school class.”

Hopefully he’ll recognize me in the nursing home.

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Girls, Listen to Your (Ex-Hippie) Mom: Don’t Settle

15 Friday Nov 2013

Posted by WS50 in Confessional

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

confessional, Margie Rubin, The Write Side of 50

Margie hippie

Hippie me.

BY MARGIE RUBIN

Margie's girls

My girls.

My 20s were wild and crazy: Drugs, sex, and of course rock and roll. Why then, when my 25-year-old daughter dumps her loyal, loving accountant boyfriend for some loser 34-year-old waiter, and then my 22-year-old daughter follows suit two months later, am I crying myself to sleep?

The new guys have tattoos and no health insurance. How will they make a living? How will they be able to give my daughters all they deserve? (Did I just say that?) Yes, I the feminist, ex-hippie want someone for them who will “provide” for my Rachel and my Leah. Never mind that I have worked my whole adult life as an educator. Never mind that I married an educator and, therefore, had to work.

But I love my career and I want to work. Don’t I want the same things for the girls? And in here lies my dilemma. I want them to have the choice to stay home with their kids one day if they want. The choice I didn’t have. Maybe this is a choice they, themselves, would never make. But somehow, remembering four-year-old Rachel telling me that she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom when she grew up, as I dressed for work, makes me think they just might.

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Contributors

frank new bio Frank Terranella, 62, grew up in an Italian (mostly Sicilian) ghetto in Lodi, New Jersey, and this, naturally, explains his fascination with fiction and writing. He’s been a writer for as long as he can remember – which is decreasing every day. He wrote poetry when he was 10, and short stories when he was 13. He’s contributed articles to the The New York Times, and the New York Daily News. In college, he worked on the campus daily newspaper where he met his wife. Hoping to make a living as a writer, he interned at the Worcester (Mass.) Telegram & Gazette. That got him a job with the Gannett newspapers in White Plains, New York. He worked as a daily newspaper editor for four years before deciding (upon the launch of CNN) that there was no future for the newspaper business. He attended Fordham Law School at night to earn a parachute out. But even after leaving the world of journalism in the rear view mirror, he kept writing. Frank wrote articles for legal publications, and even did a stint with Simon & Schuster as a tax newsletter editor. In 1998, he established his own law firm with a partner, which quickly led to a heart attack in December 1999. Soon after, he decided to look for more humane work, but that didn’t work out because he was heavily invested in his law degree. So he took a job with an intellectual property boutique firm in New York, where he can be found to this day. Frank celebrated the 20th anniversary of his 39th birthday this year. He has been married for 34 years and has two adult boomerang children whom he will miss when the economy improves. However, he has confidence that politicians will see to it that the current recession lasts well into the next decade, so he won’t be able to rent out his children’s rooms to finance his retirement.

_______________________

Bob Smith, 61, a New Jersey native, has been practicing trademark law since 1985. Along the way he has done a bit of writing (including one full-length screenplay, not yet snapped up by the Hollywood dream machine), some acting, and stand-up comedy, all in addition to raising three remarkable children with his wife and life companion, Maria. At 58 years old, Bob might appear to be at the tail end of this blog’s demographic, but don’t be fooled – he plans to stay in his 50s for at least ten more years.

____________________________

headshotjnet

Jeannette Gobel, 56, is a native of the state of Washington. She was born and raised in Spokane and moved to the Seattle area when she married Kevin in 1978. Jeannette has a grown son and daughter. Life is full these days with substitute teaching, travel, dinner with friends, and home projects.

_____________________________

Margie headshot

Margie Rubin, 59, grew up in Yonkers, New York. She went to SUNY Binghamton for a year, and then moved to California. She never looked back. She eventually finished college and graduate school in San Francisco, and has worked in education for 35 years. She’s an avid runner, loves the theater, music, and traveling. Though she loves living in the San Francisco Bay Area, she will always be a New Yorker at heart. She’s married with two grown daughters.

____________________________

Kenneth profile pic

Kenneth Kunz, 61, is another contributor who group up in Italian, Lodi, New Jersey. (Although he didn’t think it was a ghetto.) He started writing minor essays when the nuns made him write so-many-word-long punishments for whatever dalliance he committed, and has, along his life path, continued writing mostly for fun – letters to the editor (many of which have actually been published), regular urgings to congressmen and senators, and criticisms and praises to print columnists and media hosts. He has also written a slew of introspective poems since about 1969.

He is currently a major contributor to his community newsletter, as well as a writer for his parish newsletter. Having grown up with a rather perplexing, and non-substantiated, belief that he would not make it past the age of 40, he considers these last two decades as bonus time, and is grateful for every day on this side of the dirt. (Although he is hopeful of spending the next phase of his energy in a place as close to heaven as he can get.) He is blessed with numerous nieces and nephews, and really close friends. His blind faith strengthens every day.

_____________________________

Elizabeth bio

Elizabeth Perwin, 60, has cultivated a thriving couples and individual therapy practice in Silver Spring, Maryland. A beach bunny by birth, Elizabeth was born and raised in Miami. That has shaped her entire outlook on life – for the better. Liz majored in work hard/play hard at Tulane, then grew up and aced her grad degree in public policy at Princeton. She is a passionate fashionista, and has funneled that passion into a side business called Weekend Boutique. Her mission: To awaken fashion and passion in the women of Washington, D.C. It’s a daunting assignment, but so far she’s made a definite dent.

_________________________________

Joseph bio

Joseph Gilday, 62, met Elizabeth Perwin after a Pilates class. Liz interrupted him as he was flirting with a much younger woman wearing perfectly fitted yoga attire. Joe didn’t fully appreciate it at the time, but now he understands that Liz rescued him from a conversation that was going nowhere, and engaged him in one that continues deliciously to this day. Joe has changed careers almost as many times as most gen Xers have changed jobs: An actor, a college professor, a television production coordinator, a cable news producer, and now a specialist in website optimization and content marketing.

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Anita Jaffe. Circa 1977

Anita, circa 1977.

Anita Jaffe, is a little further right of the right side of 50, since she actually turned 50 in 1978. She was born in New York City, became a teacher, and raised her family in West Allenhurst, New Jersey. She moved back to Manhattan in 2010. She is loving every minute of it.

______________________________

Leslie shot

Leslie Lewis, 66, grew up in Tenafly, New Jersey – a suburb of Manhattan. She has since lived in several parts of the United States, and has had many incarnations – the latest being a first grade teacher in downtown Los Angeles. She says, “If you want to see into a crystal ball to view the future of our society, become a teacher.” She knows her ABCs, and can count past 100. Leslie currently lives in Southern California, close to her sister, children and grandchildren. She never uses the words “dude” or “gnarly,” and does not permit them in the classroom.

________________________________

deb-john-steve-and-me

Debbie Neely, 60, feels as if she is just barely on the right side of 50. She recently retired as administrator of the Outpatient Psychiatric Department of George Washington University and now enjoys writing, gardening, and, yes, baking.

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