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Author Archives: WS50

Marital Infidelity: It’s Perennial and It’s Personal

28 Wednesday Nov 2012

Posted by WS50 in Opinion

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Bill Clinton, David Petraeus, Eliot Spitzer, Infidelity, John Edwards, Juie Seyler, opinion, The Write Side of 50

Sliced Heart/Seared Hand by Julie Seyler

BY JULIE SEYLER

Cheaters and creeps are never out of vogue.  Whether we look at history, art, literature, theater, or current events, infidelity is always a hot topic and au courant.  In the past 20 years we’ve been treated to Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer, John Edwards, that Congressman/governor from South Carolina and the latest – David Petraeus. The discourse and debates are endless and familiar.  But when it strikes someone you know personally, it hits you in a whole different way. I have a friend, who over the past several years has had to come to terms with this issue and that is her journey.  All I can do is be there for her, and knowing her, I know she will heal and have love in her life again.

But what intrigues me is, why does it always seem easier for the cheater to lie and obfuscate than to simply state that, “This isn’t working for me.”  If the excuse is, “I didn’t want to break up the family,” or, “I didn’t want to hurt you,” that’s a total joke! Whether it is an affair or a series of one-night flirtations, the family is broken up, and the hurt ricochets over and over. When that betrayal is discovered, be it during or after the extracurricular fling, the psyche is seared.  It is as if someone took a dagger and sliced up your heart into 2000 pieces and then, as if that wasn’t enough, they decided to stomp on your mashed-up heart with a heavy black boot. 

And that scarring pain goes on for days and months.  I know, because once upon a time someone lost their passion for me. Instead of just manning-up and saying, “I’m done,” he iced me out and left me to find out, through “friends,” that he was now dancing about with “Susan.”
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Thanksgiving Then and Now

21 Wednesday Nov 2012

Posted by WS50 in Food, Words

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Food, Julie Seyler, Thanksgiving, The Write Side of 50, Words

BY JULIE SEYLER

When I was growing up, Thanksgiving always had a pattern. My mother hosted one year, my Aunt Liz the following year, and my Aunt Millie the next year. If it was at Millie’s my father would inevitably grumble how he would never go again because that drive to Long Island was impossible, but of course we went. My male cousins, completely incommunicado, hovered in front of the football games until they were forced to sit at their own “children’s” table.I seem to distinctly remember that the adults, aunts, uncles, cousins, and my parents, were always passionately engaged in political discussions.  These were the days of the Vietnam War and Watergate, and the back-and-forth repartee took us from apps to dessert.

Of course, there was a huge turkey (my cousin Leslie and I always hung around the kitchen competing for the best piece of skin while it was being carved) sweet potato casserole with marshmallows, Pepperidge Farm stuffing, canned jelled cranberry sauce and store-bought pies. We were not a creative cooking group, nor a baking family.  Not until my cousin Richard met Martha did we finally have a couple of home made pies on the table.  And so that is the Thanksgiving in my mind.

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