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The Write Side of 59

~ This is What Happens When You Begin to Age Out of Middle Age

The Write Side of 59

Category Archives: Words

A Needle is Better With Linen (And Vice-Versa)

01 Thursday May 2014

Posted by WS50 in Words

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Julie Seyler, Lois DeSocio, The Write Side of 50

frames 297

No good. Take it back.

BY JULIE SEYLER AND LOIS DESOCIO

Three out of seven mornings, I crave an unsweetened green ice tea, with extra ice from Starbucks. It’s acerbic and crisp. Usually, on my way to work, I am wearing my headset as I walk into Starbucks because Lois and I discuss every morning what we will post on the blog that day.

Like clockwork, in the middle of the conversation, we pause, because I have to order my tea. I always emphasize UN-sweetened, with EXTRA! ice to the barista behind the counter, because it’s the little touches that convert an acceptable drink to one that transcends even morning e-mails.

bathrobe sweater

No good (as a sweater).

This morning (still in boot-mode), I got off the bus. It was raining, but before heading into my office, I walked in to Starbucks for that green tea. Lo and I were on the horn figuring out the schedule. I ordered, got my tea and hobbled across the street, and up the elevator to my office. I took my first sip of tea.

UGH! It was sweetened! A cloying, fake taste of sucrose. Impossible to ingest. I explained to Lo I had to hang up and go back to Starbucks to return my tea.

Her reaction, quoted below, in my opinion, offers an unedited window into how different we are.

Lo is a piece of white linen – pure, malleable and moves with ease through wind. I am the needle, although rigid, pointed, and not retractable, am needed to pull in and sew it up (blog included):

You mean you can’t suck it up just this one time?

Absolutely not. It’s disgusting and I paid for it and I am going to exchange it.

I would never do that. And with a boot on? I would have sucked it down even if I hated it.

I must. It is a travesty to the palate that defeats the purpose of the pleasure.

So, with a boot on, after settled in at your desk, you are going to go back to Starbucks just to exchange tea?

Yes.

I hate returning things. Even clothes and furniture. I kept a chair from Pier One that I found out was broken once I got it home in my kitchen for three years rather than lug it back. It still worked. And I spent $75 for a really ugly sweater years ago. Is definitely worthy of a return trip, but it’s still in my closet, five years later. I use it as a bathrobe.

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It’s Been a Year (Yup, We’re Still Here), and …

19 Tuesday Nov 2013

Posted by WS50 in Words

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Julie Seyler, Lois DeSocio, One-Year Anniversary, The Write Side of 50, Words

we are still here copy

… we couldn’t have done it without you. So:

~Julie and Lois

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Lee

07 Thursday Nov 2013

Posted by Lois DeSocio in Words

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, Lee Crystal, Lois DeSocio, The Write Side of 50, Words

Lee

A rock star.

BY LOIS DESOCIO

I once described my friend Lee – who died this past Tuesday – as “so much cooler than the rest of us.” That remains true. But I would add that Lee, more than anyone else I’ve ever met, aged into his 50s with unmatched elegance.

Elegance that endured. An elegance that was born and bred into him. An elegance that defined him, and was the essence of the no-nonsense, intrepid determination that took him to the top of his field as a drummer. Elegance that faced off forces-unpredicted and hurdle after hurdle. Hurdles that would have halted a lesser man.

I will carry the lessons I learned from Lee for the rest of my life. I had often thought of Lee when the stuff of life, that we all have to ward off at times, would come at me with a thrust. I was inspired by his grace and his grit.

Lee was the drummer for Joan Jett & the Blackhearts from 1981 to 1986. It’s his unrelenting, crazy-with-the-sticks, pounding that drives the iconic “I Love Rock ‘N’ Roll.”

Lee on drums

He was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1993. In 2006, I was interviewing him for a magazine article. I was just getting to know him and his wife, Maura. We had mutual friends, we had spent News Year’s Eve together, but I had yet to spend a big chunk of time with Lee.

We had just sat down in his living room for the interview. I had only been there for about 15 minutes, but he had already given me about 25 minutes worth of smiles and chuckles. His wit was quick.

We moved into the den. He wanted to turn on his stereo to play a piece of music for me. His hand started shaking as he moved it towards the knob to turn on the stereo. I instinctively jumped in and offered to do it. He wouldn’t have it.

He cursed his hand, made a joke about his hand, and then cursed his hand again. He could have asked me to turn it on. He could have decided that he didn’t want me to see his hand shaking. Or he could have decided that it was simply easier to just use the other hand. But he didn’t.

Because Lee didn’t settle. Instead, he grabbed his wrist with the steady hand and commandeered his trembling fingers to the knob, and turned on the music. We did a four-hand high five.

And that was my Lee-moment. That’s when I got to know the Lee that those who had known him for decades already knew. He never gave up. He insisted on excellence. He remained gracious in spite of unimaginable odds and resistances. He did not stand for mediocrity.

So “cooler than the rest of us,” falls a bit short. Lee once told me, that to be a good drummer, you must first understand the basic operation of what goes into forming a solid beat, and then … “make it your own.”

So just as a Lee Crystal drum-beat was solid, and was his own, so was his pluck, his mettle, and his elegance. All outlined with cool.

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The Saturday Blog: A Toast

18 Saturday May 2013

Posted by Lois DeSocio in Words

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Bob Smith, Frank Terranella, Jeannette Gobel, Julie Seyler, Lois DeSocio, Margo D. Beller, The Write Side of 50, Words

bottles and a glass.  photo by Julie Seyler

The stuff of celebration. Photo by Julie Seyler.

Tomorrow, The Write Side of 50 turns six months old. Since November 19, we have posted, without fail, six days a week, every week. We could not have done this without the consistency of our contributors. So we raise a glass to Bob and Frank (they’ve been with us from the get-go), Margo, and Jeannette. And a clink to our readers, for your continued comments, support, inspiration, and for giving us a reason to bring out the good glasses. Salud!

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An E-Mail Ode (And Reply) to the Oyster Pearl

28 Friday Dec 2012

Posted by Lois DeSocio in Art, Words

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Art, Julie Seyler, Lois DeSocio, The Write Side of 50, Words

Tree burls and pearls. Drawing by Julie Seyler

BY LOIS DESOCIO

An integral part of our blog’s beginnings were incessant e-mail exchanges between Julie and me, with ideas for what the blog should be about. Threaded into the scores of business e-mails and blog ideas, were some slices of raw revelation, as the ever-evolving voice of the blog drifted from a focus on food and travel to one about navigating our 50s. The e-mails generated tons of ideas, so we diligently filed them away in our queue.

One day in May, Julie dashed off a short poem and e-mailed it to me, thinking it was quite a witty characterization of being on the right side of 50. Her poem, and my e-mailed response, copied and pasted below, sums up how differently we view the physics of aging. For Julie, the two lines conveyed how fleeting the time is between the dewiness of youth, which we take for granted, and the next moment, when it has evaporated. As she sees it, it doesn’t come at one point in time, but throughout the transitions in life. You assume your oyster pearl complexion will always be a part of you, and then … it isn’t.

My poem was better:

On Wed, May 30, 2012 at 3:04 PM, Julie Seyler wrote:

One day you are the oyster pearl
the next time you looked you were the tree burl.

On Wed, May 30, 2012 at 3:28 PM, Lois DeSocio replied:

OOH – that hurts. Props on the poem, but I refuse to be deformed. I will be: 

One day I was just a girl;
The next time I looked I was the oyster pearl.

Lemonade, Jule

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Thanksgiving Then and Now

21 Wednesday Nov 2012

Posted by WS50 in Food, Words

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Food, Julie Seyler, Thanksgiving, The Write Side of 50, Words

BY JULIE SEYLER

When I was growing up, Thanksgiving always had a pattern. My mother hosted one year, my Aunt Liz the following year, and my Aunt Millie the next year. If it was at Millie’s my father would inevitably grumble how he would never go again because that drive to Long Island was impossible, but of course we went. My male cousins, completely incommunicado, hovered in front of the football games until they were forced to sit at their own “children’s” table.I seem to distinctly remember that the adults, aunts, uncles, cousins, and my parents, were always passionately engaged in political discussions.  These were the days of the Vietnam War and Watergate, and the back-and-forth repartee took us from apps to dessert.

Of course, there was a huge turkey (my cousin Leslie and I always hung around the kitchen competing for the best piece of skin while it was being carved) sweet potato casserole with marshmallows, Pepperidge Farm stuffing, canned jelled cranberry sauce and store-bought pies. We were not a creative cooking group, nor a baking family.  Not until my cousin Richard met Martha did we finally have a couple of home made pies on the table.  And so that is the Thanksgiving in my mind.

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Welcome to The Write Side of 50

19 Monday Nov 2012

Posted by Lois DeSocio in Words

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Tags

Lois DeSocio, The Write Side of 50, Words

BY LOIS DESOCIO

Snapped by Julie Seyler

Sketched by Julie Seyler

For a year now, Julie and I have been building this blog bit by bit; bite by bite. What started as light dinner conversation, over martinis and wine and foie gras (or french fries), turned into, over time, a mission to create not only an outlet for all our banter and our newly discovered facts of life, but a forum. A forum for all of us who are lucky enough to hit the big 5-0 and beyond.

Fortified by more-than-we-can-count-follow-up dinners in Manhattan, and random conversations struck up with not only friends, but with 50-year-old strangers in strange places (the line at motor vehicle, the neighboring stool at a dive bar, the sidewalk with a fellow dog-walker), we noticed that we were all strung together by a unique and definitive voice that echoed some kind of intangible change in everything about ourselves – both good and not-so-good. Not unlike any group that is in the trenches together, there is a collective camaraderie that has often led to a borderline frenetic, unedited exchange of stories about what life becomes in your 50s. One thing for sure emerges – we all, men and women alike, feel it.

I’m a writer; Julie is an artist. We want to put all of our experiences into words, and Julie’s images bring those words to life.

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