BY LOIS DESOCIO

Yesterday, Julie wrote of a short supply of non-alcoholic beer in bars. I have a beer story, too. No shortage here, though. A party in my backyard last weekend left half a keg of un-drunk beer. It’s been hanging out for almost a week now. And as one who hates to waste food, and even more – alcohol – I’ve been at a loss as to what to do with all that beer. There’s another party lying in wait right outside my back door! But can the beer hold out?

So for the past six days I’ve coddled my keg. I untapped it, iced it, kept it out of the sun, and taste-tested it every morning for, as Julie describes ” … the nice malty carbonated taste of hops.”

“Have a beer!,” I’ve pleaded to everyone who has stepped so much as a foot on my property.

So while the morning taste-testing yesterday passed my muster (I am also someone who enjoys stale Cheez Doodles, and will eat fish that smells fishy), I was sitting on a potential powder keg. The situation was becoming tense. I had to do something with the beer. A lot of beer. And apparently, despite my pampering – flat beer:

I found good use for a good portion:

And then I bought 15 pounds of chicken, pulled out my huge container of oil that I never use:

And battered the bird with beer:

Fried it up:

And sent out a come-eat-chicken-with-me text to some friends known for their spontaneity. I managed to lure three. So, with enough beer-battered chicken left over to fill a keg, another party just might be looming. Just bring your own beer.