BY LOIS DESOCIO

I’ve turned 60 today. And while I know it’s the de rigueur to move yourself down a few years with each birthday (Happy 35th! Again; 50 is the new 40), I’m gazing into the future — toward 70. Because it’s dwindling. Things are getting serious. Sixty was not imaginable. So it’s time to get over it, and have at it — more than ever.

And I can call myself a sexagenarian. Imagine the possibilities.

So I’m exulting without pause. I’m proud that I’ve made it this far in one piece. And I’m going to pretend 60 is the new 70. So when I’m 70, I’ll really be 60 and I’ll still feel 30, because, in my eyes, I’m always exactly the same. And if that doesn’t make any sense to anyone but me, I don’t care.

An Internet search of “Turning 60,” is rife with old-fogey platitudes. It’s described in more than a few places as the time when “things start to fall apart,” and listing seems to be the genre of choice: 60 Perfect Reasons You Should be Psyched About Turning 60, 10 Things Everyone Should Do Before turning 60, How to Turn Sixty Gracefully: 14 Steps, 60 Thoughts About Turning 60, Six Things to Start Doing When You Turn 60)

So below is my list and some accompanying scholarship on turning 60. I’ve noticed since I had turned 50 (ten years ago), that with each passing decade, clichés are less cliché and more motto:

You’re as Young as You Feel (I’m more 59 than 60.)
It Could be Worse (I could be 61.)
It’s Not Life or Death (Yes. It is.)
Nothing Stays the Same (Goodbye menopause!)
Older and Wiser (Cocktails at 4.)
Keep Your Chin Up (Get fillers.)
Age is Just a Number (I can see 80!)
Keep a Stiff Upper Lip (Never, ever! Botox.)
Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder (I see 30.)
There’s More Good than Bad (I will not give up my thong.)
Aging Gracefully (I will not give up my push-up bra.)
This Too, Shall Pass (Even I’m going to die someday.)
Always Look on the Bright Side (Except when there are dimmers.)
Life is Too Short (Amen)