Tag Archives: Art

The Saturday Blog: Headshot

26 Saturday Oct 2013

Posted by in Art

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , ,

The ghoulies are coming

Is he trickin’ or treatin’? Photo by Julie Seyler.

This photo, taken through a barber shop window in Manhattan, reminds us that Halloween is coming.

Billy Crystal’s Book for Boomers: Buy It. You’ll Like It

14 Monday Oct 2013

Posted by in Men

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, ,

BY FRANK TERRANELLA

I think that one of the aims of this blog should be to point out things that we over-50s are likely to enjoy. Along those lines, Billy Crystal has written a book that I think perfectly captures what life is like after 50. It’s called, “Still Foolin’ ‘Em: Where I’ve Been, Where I’m Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys?” I recommend it to everyone who, in Crystal’s words, “can still do everything they did at age 30 if only they could remember what those things are.”STILL FOOLIN' 'EM cover

If you consider aging Baby Boomers to all be occupants of the same classroom of life, then Billy Crystal is our class clown. He has been the voice of our generation through his memorable years on Saturday Night Live to his classic movies like “City Slickers,” “When Harry Met Sally,” and “Forget Paris,” to his brilliant stints as host of the Academy Awards. Now at age 65, he is the prototypical Baby Boomer – having grown up in the New York suburbs watching Officer Joe Bolton on Channel 11.

Like the writers in this blog, Crystal pulls no punches when discussing the effects of aging. He tells us, “During the past year, things started to grow on me where they shouldn’t. My ass looks like the bottom of a boat.” He says that he still is interested in looking at 20-something women, but now they’re out of focus and, “by the time I get my glasses on, they’re gone.” He laments that these days when he says, “dinner’s on me” he means it literally. He notes that age has made him feel cold most of the time, and he’s starting to think that global warming isn’t such a bad thing.

Billy spends an entire hilarious chapter on senior sex (you’ll have to read the book for details). I’ll just say that he is as candid about this aspect of life after 50 as any other. He also spends some time talking about the after-50 problem of staying awake at the movies or at Broadway shows. Ultimately, I found myself nodding my head in agreement while listening to the audio book. By the way, if you’re into audio books, that is the best way to experience this work because Billy reads it himself and the entire book is like a long stand-up comedy show.

I think the most surprising thing about this book is how well-written it is. It is not hyperbole to compare the writing style with Mark Twain’s. It’s that good. Billy’s line that, “I sleep like a baby. I’m up every two hours,” could have come from the pen of Twain. But ultimately, what makes the book so attractive to the over-50 audience is its sincerity and truth. When Billy talks about his insomnia, it’s something that most of us can relate to. And that’s the key to good humor writing.

For example, Crystal spends a chapter on what he worries about these days. Among many other things, he says, “I worry that someday my kids will look down on me and say: “‘I changed him last time. Now it’s your turn.’”

The truth can sometimes make you wince, but the trick is to always stay positive. We can draw inspiration from one of Billy Crystal’s famous characters. No matter the effects of aging – “You look wonderful!”

I’m a Scammed Artist

10 Thursday Oct 2013

Posted by in Art

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , ,

"twisted 2: Josie & David's Lovers"

“Twisted 2: Josie & David’s Lovers.”

BY JULIE SEYLER

Hello from Bali. Steve and I fly home on Saturday, October 12. We arrive Sunday morning around 7:00, and the post–vacation routine commences. The mail is retrieved; the bills are sorted; the bags are unpacked. And the dirty laundry is washed. That first night home, you go to sleep with a different feeling because the illusion of being an unemployed vagabond without a money care in the world is replaced with the dread of obligations that have stockpiled on your desk over the past two weeks. The unfettered bliss of suspended reality is dashed to smithereens in about 24 hours. So, in anticipation that real life is about to descend, I shall tell you the tale from August (which is still on my mind), of Kimberly Collier.

On August 17, I received an email from Kimberly Collier:

Hello,

My name is Kimberly Collier. I am interested in purchasing an artwork from you. Kindly write back with your webpage so that I can view more of your recent works.
Thanks.
Kimberly

That was cool. She had seen some samples of my work on the website Artsicle. I sent her the link to my personal website, julieseyler.com, and the next morning, I found this message waiting in my Inbox:

Hi Julie,

Thank you for the email. I am interested in making an immediate purchase of the work “twisted 2: josie & david’s lovers  oil  52” x 30””. Can I have a detailed information about the work, its availability and pricing?  As soon as we reach a concrete agreement on pricing, I can instruct my p.a to  process a cashiers check to you for the payment of the work so that my mover can have it picked up along with my properties that are to be moved to Munich.

I await your email soonest.

Regards,

Kimberly.

This was even cooler, so I sent her the requested information, and received a reply:

Hi Julie,

Thank you for the mail. I am ok with the price of the work but I want you to deduct the shipping charges from the cost as my mover will take care of the pick up and delivering to my new resident in Munich. He has other properties to pick up for me so he would get the work along with other boxes. But before then, your cash must be at hand. Can you provide me with your full name as you want it appeared on the check, your full address which includes(street name, house number, city, state and zip code) to ensure safe delivery and your working phone number where my mover can easily reach you at. As soon as I get these details, I will fwd it to my p.a so that he can go ahead with the issuance of the check to you after you must arrived back on Saturday, August 24.

I happy to have this piece purchased as it would look good on the walls of my guest room.

Thanks.

Kimberly

But there were a few logistical problems in getting the painting to Ms. Collier. I was down at the beach in Allenhurst. The painting was in a warehouse in Union. And the keys to the warehouse were in Manhattan. Even if we did get it, I could not get it home because it would never fit in the roadster, and the schedule for the next seven days was crazy. Somehow, we had to get the painting back to New York City that Sunday.

Steve had his van, but he preferred keeping it in New Jersey, rather than dealing with parking in the city. But after numerous back and forths (and back and forths), the only option was to drive the van back to Manhattan, then back to Union to pick up the painting, then back to Manhattan. Two trips in, and one trip out, of the Lincoln Tunnel in a period of three hours on a Sunday afternoon in August is not anyone’s idea of fun. Plus, I kept fretting that Kimberly Collier would change her mind. Steve, always my supporter, said, “Don’t worry. Of course she wants the painting.”

Monday morning I e-mailed Kimberly Collier that I had the painting, and we could start making arrangements for her to send the money, and pick it up.

Two hours later, I received this email from Artsicle:

On Saturday, a variety of you received an email via the new messaging system from “Kimberly Collier” requesting more information about your work. Sadly, this is part of a known scam involving fake cashiers checks. I recommend you do not respond to this request – or simply delete the email chain if you already have.

What a bummer. But after talking to the people at Artsicle, it was confirmed that the scammers really do want the art – they just want it for free. To me, that was better than being taken just for the money.

In retrospect, there were lots of little hints this was a scam. No one pays for anything without knowing the return policy.