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~ This is What Happens When You Begin to Age Out of Middle Age

The Write Side of 59

Tag Archives: opinion

Popped My Cork Over Restaurant’s “Cakeage” Fee

27 Tuesday Aug 2013

Posted by WS50 in Opinion

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"Cakeage" fee, Julie Seyler, opinion, The Write Side of 50

Cakeage fees. Per slice.

Cakeage fees. Per slice.

BY JULIE SEYLER

A couple of weeks ago, I went out to dinner at a Turkish restaurant on the East Side of Manhattan. There were nine of us celebrating the birthday of a mother/grandmother/aunt who was turning 87. We were hungry and thirsty, so cocktails were ordered, a couple of bottles of wine were drunk, five or six appetizers studded the table, four different types of salad appeared, and everybody ordered an entree. We were stuffed to the brim before the main course was served, but we couldn’t resist devouring every morsel because the food was delicious.

We allowed about five minutes to pass so we could digest, and decided it was time to bring out the vanilla and chocolate Carvel ice cream cake that the birthday girl’s daughter had picked up. It’s her Mom’s favorite. The waiter came over, and promptly announced that the restaurant charged $2.50 per person to serve the cake. Like corkage charges for opening a bottle of wine, the restaurant industry has adopted the phenomenon of a “cakeage” fee. I was clueless, but what I gathered from the other dinner guests is that this has become a well-known and common practice. So common that it is accepted with a sigh.This was not my immediate reaction.

I was outraged. The restaurant doesn’t even serve birthday cake. If you don’t bring your own cake you have the option of sticking a candle in any of the following dessert choices:

Baklava-  very thin layers of dough with walnuts in between layers.

Kadayif -shredded wheat with pistachios soaked in syrup.

Kayisi -poached apricots stuffed with whole almonds and turkish heavy cream.

Keskul -almond pudding made with milk and cracked almonds.

Kunefe -shredded wheat with pistachios and cheese soaked in syrup.

Revani -semolina-based pistachio cake soaked in honey syrup.

Sutlac -baked rice pudding made with milk, rice, and sugar.

Now, really! If you want the look and feel of a simulated party with birthday cake do you want to put a candle in some pistachio-studded shredded wheat? I am sure every option is yummy, but they sound like breakfast foods- absolutely not fitting for a someone who was born in 1926!

I acknowledge that $2.50 is not an excessive amount to charge especially since online research reveals that some restaurants charge $10.00 per person for a “cakeage” fee. So the fact that an additional $22.50, plus the standard city tax of 8% would have increased the bill by $25.00 is hardly worth getting upset over.

But what is awful, at least in the opinion of my right-sided, 50-year-old soul, is the idea that after wining and dining in a convivial setting where you have willingly, and joyfully, overpaid for cocktails and wine, and are aware that an 18% tip will be automatically applied to the bill, the restaurant has the nerve to feel justified in charging a fee for slicing a birthday cake. It just feels like unnecessary gouging. But that’s that’s life in 2013. We pay to have our baggage put on and off the plane. We pay to get two more inches of legroom once seated in the plane, and we pay for food to be served to us halfway through the flight. These small amenities used to be standard, but the “Pay for It Plan” has been so successful that the hotel industry is jumping on the bandwagon.

A recent article in The New York Times reported that hotel management has devised a fee for checking out early. Excuse me? The joy and pleasure of my hard-earned vacation dollars are being ruled by whether I have to pay $20 because I decide to drive to the Rocky Mountains on Saturday instead of Sunday? You’ve got to be kidding me. It may only be $20 but it’s the relentless constant inch-by-inch movement in this direction, and the attitude that we will pay because we have no choice.

All I can think if is that song “Money Makes the World Go ‘Round,” sung so brilliantly by Joel Grey in “Cabaret.”

In any case, it is nice to remember that we once lived in a world where the philosophy of good business was in the offering of a lagniappe.

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The Constant “Call” of the Telephone

21 Wednesday Aug 2013

Posted by WS50 in Men, Opinion

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cell phones, Frank Terranella, Men, opinion, The Write Side of 50

The journey of the phone from inside the house to on the body.

You can’t leave home without it.

By FRANK TERRANELLA

It’s vacation season, and I’m amazed at how reachable my vacationing clients are. The 21st century electronic leash is a long one. People can be reached no matter the time, the place or the importance of the call.

Those of us over 50 know that this is a very recent phenomenon.Back in the 1960s (when some of us still had party lines), if someone left their home, they were truly out of touch. This was OK with most of us. Of course, there were exceptions.

You may remember the scene from Woody Allen’s film, “Play It Again Sam,” in which Tony Roberts plays a frantic businessman who is on the phone constantly. As he’s leaving to go to dinner, he says into the phone, “I am leaving 555-1234 now, but I’ll be at 555-4321 in 20 minutes.”  Woody Allen’s character is put off by this constant need to be in touch and says, “Hold on, there’s a phone booth we’ll be passing along the way. Let me get the number for you just in case.”

Well in 2013, most people are like the Tony Roberts character. We have a need to be in touch at all times. Sure this need is stronger among our children, but the truth is that few people today of any age travel without a cell phone. I am not going to say that it’s wrong either. Certainly, some moderation is called for – such as not taking calls in public restrooms. But all in all, being reachable by friends and family is (as Martha Stewart might say), a good thing.

I think we over 50s can provide some wisdom on this issue to our children by describing to them a time when, not only were there no cell phones, there were no answering machines. Back then, if you missed a call, you really missed it. You had no idea that anyone had called you, much less what they were calling about. This often led to bad consequences if the caller had an urgent message.

I remember one night I was out late because of evening classes, and didn’t get home until after midnight. My boss had been calling me all night to tell me that we were starting work two hours early the next day. Since I wasn’t home, and I didn’t have an answering machine, I never got the message. It was embarrassing to walk into work the next day two hours late. Soon after that, I bought one of the first answering machines on the market.

Our children cannot imagine such a scenario. Their bosses can always reach them. Oh sure they can pretend that their battery died, but that’s about as believable as, “the dog ate my homework.” Our modern world demands that we be reachable.

I have always found this electronic leash to be obnoxious. I was one of the last people I know to buy a cell phone, and for many years I used it only to make calls, and immediately turned it off afterwards. I enjoyed going into the subway – a cell-phone-free zone. Now it seems a little dangerous to be in an area with no service. We have become so used to being able to reach out and touch our friends and family that it’s a bit uncomfortable when we can’t.

A few summers ago, my wife and I were staying at Glacier National Park in Montana. There was a beautiful hotel, but no cell phone service. The over 50s quickly adapted back to pre-1980 mode when vacations were telephone-free. But the younger people could be seen hiking to a remote hill where someone said you could get one bar of service. They couldn’t help themselves. They were just answering the call of the dial tone.

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Hey TSA: Don’t ‘Wave Me Up, Pat Me Down

07 Wednesday Aug 2013

Posted by WS50 in Opinion, Travel

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Airport Security, Julie Seyler, opinion, The Write Side of 50, Travel

Scanned

Scanned at the airport.

BY JULIE SEYLER

It is standard fare: the excitement of a flight-based vacation tempered by the prospect of wending one’s way through the layers of security imposed by the Transportation Security Administration (TSA). Actually, dealing with security issues begins at home, when we have to remember to not inadvertently pack that new 6.5 ounce tube of toothpaste in the carry-on bag, and ends when we remove our footwear so that we can stroll through the device that detects gadgets hidden in the nether regions of the body. It is unpleasant, but necessary, given the harsh and horrible reality that there are people out there bent on designing ways to blow up airplanes.

For years we have been walking through machines that detect only metal objects. But because they were ineffective against plastic, gels, ceramics and other solids, new technology arose in the form of whole-body scanners. Setting aside issues of privacy (and there are many), these machines pictorially undress you and scan and scope the body for everything. After the hue and cry that the government was deploying radiation in the name of security, and simultaneously increasing every traveler’s chance of cancer by so many leaps and bounds, we are now subjected to scans that operate on millimeter wave technology. According to the TSA and various other Web sites, millimeter wave technology is perfectly safe because it does not use ionizing radiation to zap you.

I did not know all this when I went to Puerto Rico in March 2013 with a friend for a 4-day trip, but I knew the basic ritual. I was directed towards the body scanner, or as I prefer to call it, the ‘Wave Machine. It looks like a silver cylinder pod, somewhat reminiscent of the transformer from Star Trek. At the time, I had heard vague buzz that these scanners were not so safe, but the TSA guard pooh-poohed me. She explained the machine operates on microwaves, not Xrays. No fear of being irradiated in the name of safety.

I waltzed into the pod, held my hands up, was microwaved, and cleared security. I met my girlfriend on the other side. She said she would never go through one of them, and had opted for the pat down.

I said, “Why? I was just assured how safe they were.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “Hah!”

Fast forward five months, and I am back in an airport having to go through security. I see the ‘Wave Machine, and I see the standard issue metal detector, and recalling my girlfriend’s, “Hah!” I proceed to walk through the metal detector. I am immediately halted by the TSA guard.

“You cannot use this machine. You need to use that machine.” He pointed to the ‘Wave.

“But I do not want to go through the ‘Wave Machine.”

“Well, then you have to get patted down.”

“Fine.”

“You might have to wait.”

“Fine.”

So as I am waiting, I see a woman sail through the metal detector. I figure the TSA guy must have made a mistake, so I try to walk through again. And again I am halted.

“How come she gets to go through?”

“She has a child.”

“So what!”

“Only adults with children, and employees, are allowed to use these machines.”

“Whoa, you have got to be kidding me!”

“No. Those are the rules.”

Hmmm. Is the TSA practicing a little unequal protection on the bodily harm spectrum? Even though the online literature repeatedly states that non-ionizing radiation is perfectly safe, does the TSA know something else? Has it perhaps determined that the organs and tissues of little lads and lasses, as well as employees of the TSA, are too delicate and vulnerable to be microwaved, but the rest of us wear invisible armor that protects against the assault of the people scanner?

I would love to see the risk assessment memos on this issue, penned by the lawyers and actuaries: Please analyze the monetary damages if a six year old successfully sues for wave damage vs. what would be incurred if a 60 year old sued.

The mere fact is that it would be so much more difficult to establish the link, so cause and effect on someone who has lived beyond 18 must have made it a no-brainer for the TSA to institute this policy. Or am I merely a right-side-of-50 cynic?

Fifteen minutes later the pat-down lady showed up. And on I went through security.

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Weiner’s Inflated Head …

05 Monday Aug 2013

Posted by WS50 in Men, Opinion

≈ 1 Comment

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Anthony Weiner, Bob Smith, Men, opinion, The Write Side of 50

The Weiner: 2 red onions and a scallion

The Weiner: 2 red onions and a scallion.

BY BOB SMITH

Weiner’s Lead Shrinks
Weiner Sticks It Out
Weiner Won’t Withdraw
Weiner Takes A Hard Line
Weiner Comes On Strong
Weiner Whacked In Latest Poll

Enough already. The New York Post pun-headline writers are in hog heaven with this one. Even his wife’s name plays into it – oh I know, she uses Huma (“hoo-ma”) Abedin, her maiden name. Why? Probably to avoid any snickering over the potential oral sex allusion if her name were Huma (as in “hum-a”) Weiner.

There he stands wiry and intensely defiant; a cornered raging rodent, proclaiming his staunch intention to keep plugging away (sorry) in his race for mayor of New York. There’s Huma, sincere and wide-eyed; the bright trustworthy Good Wife standing by her flawed yet human man. It’s all a bit strained, isn’t it?

Let’s be real. If it had been splashed all over every newspaper and other news media outlet in the country that I had been sending flaming erotic messages to a woman half my age and engaging in lurid masturbatory phone sex with her multiple times a day, and that I had done it all under the ludicrous nom de guerre “Carlos Danger,” I would be so deeply ashamed of my transgressions against my wife, my family, and common morality that I would probably never show my face in public again.

Not so Mr. Weiner. He holds a press conference, hiding behind the usual “I’m a flawed person” mea culpas so popular among public figures these days who get caught, literally, with their shorts around their ankles. He has no shame, and for him I suppose that’s good. He can walk down the street with his head held high, apparently secure in the knowledge that at least he thinks he’s perfectly fine.

But the rest of us don’t have to live in his world. In our world, what he has done reveals a shocking, pitiful depth of self-absorption and, worse yet, an utter disregard for others: his wife, his infant son (who someday will read all about it), the woman (women) he has playfully ravaged electronically from afar and regaled with photos of his genitalia; and of course, the voters he expects to believe his hollow protestations of having changed his wayward ways. These character flaws, or obsessions, or whatever they’re called, don’t seem compatible with the energy, dedication, and focus that would be needed to effectively lead one of the biggest cities in the world.

Remember the tongue in cheek Peter Principle, from the late ’60s? The premise was that in a system where an individual’s advancement is based on achievement and/or merit, the person will eventually be promoted beyond his or her level of ability. Each person, they said, would eventually work his or her way up to their level of incompetence and then stay there. Think Dilbert and all his coworkers.

Anthony Wiener has found that plateau. There’s no need to promote him any further. He’s apparently very good at indulging his erotic/narcissistic fantasies, and at stroking (again, my apologies) his apparently boundless ego. Let’s not risk a painful and embarrassing demonstration of the Wiener Principle by allowing him to continue doing so from Gracie Mansion.

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Sign Says, “No Entry.” Some Say, “Let’s Pull In!”

23 Thursday May 2013

Posted by Lois DeSocio in Men, Opinion

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Bob Smith, Men, opinion, The Write Side of 50

No entry. No parking. The perfect spot for the car!

No entry. No parking. Except for me. I’m special.

BY BOB SMITH

One of my pet peeves is people who are too special to follow the rules. You know who you are. You’re the guy in the express lane at the supermarket with 47 items piled in your shopping cart. You can’t read, even though, “8 ITEMS OR LESS,” is in bold red letters on the sign above your head. You can’t count. Or you just don’t care. You’re the gal who pulls up to the Dunkin’ Donuts, and parks in the space three feet from the front door. The only problem is, there are no white lines on the blacktop delineating that area because it’s the travel lane – it’s not a parking space at all. And there’s good reason for that. The parking lot is designed to allow two lanes of travel – one in, and the other out. You have just blocked one of those lanes. But hey, the guy who has a heart attack over his coffee and Munchkins won’t mind a bit if defibrillation is delayed a couple of minutes because your car prevents the ambulance from pulling up in front of the building.

But that’s an extreme example. Most days, there’s no need for an ambulance at the local Dunkin’ Donuts. The only consequence of your disregard for the rules is that the rest of us have to be careful as we jockey around your car so we don’t ram into it, or worse yet, hit someone else’s car as they enter the now, overly-narrow entrance to the parking lot. That’s a small price to pay to spare you the inconvenience of having to park in an actual parking space fifteen feet from the building with the rest of us poor slobs.

And how about those drivers who see the shoulder of the highway as their own personal escape route from traffic jams?  When I’m sitting in a miles-long, bumper-to-bumper 5 m.p.h. cluster-crawl on the Garden State Parkway, nothing warms my heart more than to see you whizzing by on the shoulder, happily making good time despite the heavy traffic. For some reason, you’re not affected by the nasty karma that comes with having someone in every other stationary vehicle you bypass look at you and think, “asshole.”

A recent extreme example of the, “I’m special” syndrome is a scam in which people hire disabled tour guides at Disney World. You might think being confined to a wheelchair would be a distinct disadvantage when your job is to guide people through a sprawling amusement park. Quite the contrary. Because these guides are on motorized scooters or wheelchairs, they qualify to use the auxiliary entrances to the rides and attractions, which typically have very short, or no lines at all. And each disabled guide can bring up to six guests through the express line with them, which prompts some families of means (and six or less members), to gladly fork over the $130 per-hour tour-guide fee to avoid interminable lines in the broiling Florida sun.

We should all drive to Disney World, using the shoulder to avoid traffic jams en route, then park wherever we want when we get there. We can hire wheelchair-bound tour guides to get us onto the express lane to every ride in the park. Why not? Let’s all be special together.

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The Selfies Phenomenon: “Look at Me!” (Be My Friend)

22 Wednesday May 2013

Posted by Lois DeSocio in Men, Opinion

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Frank Terranella, Men, opinion, Selfies, The Write Side of 50

Selfie photo

My selfie.

BY FRANK TERRANELLA

You know you’re getting old when you are bemused by new catchwords that creep into the pop culture. I recently overheard a young man tell a friend on a bus to work, “Wow, you should see her selfies online. She’s hot! But watch out, they’re NSFW.” I will admit that I had no idea what a selfie was, or what this NSFW was all about. So I consulted the online oracle, Yahoo, and found out that a selfie is a picture that people take of themselves. The pictures usually show the subject with a phone in his or hands. I also discovered that NSFW means “Not Suitable For Work.”

I find this selfie phenomenon to be absolutely fascinating from a sociological and psychological point of view. First, it appears that women take most of the selfies. Second, it appears that a good portion of the selfies are, shall we say, risqué. Women have been posing nude since long before Alexandros of Antioch got some beautiful Greek girl to pose for his Venus de Milo. There were probably prehistoric cave women who posed for cave artists. And the ability to take a photograph of yourself goes back to the dawn of photography. After all, all you need is a camera and a mirror. Yet I don’t remember seeing a single selfie back in the ‘60s and ‘70s. So why is it that there are so many women taking provocative pictures of themselves now that we even have Web sites that are devoted to this phenomenon?

I think the answer may lie in the fact that feminism, smartphones and the Internet came together to create a “perfect storm” that opened the floodgates. Feminism, beginning in the 1960s, freed women to be in touch with their bodies and their sexuality. Smartphones made it easy to take pictures that do not need to be developed. And the Internet made it easy to disseminate the pictures to create a phenomenon that spurs more pictures by more women (and sadly, girls).

But the selfie phenomenon goes far beyond photos that are not suitable for work. It seems to be part of this broad trend toward navel gazing of which Facebook and Twitter are the most visible signs. The same people who need to tell us that they are getting a latte at Starbucks also seem to need to take pictures of themselves and distribute them online. If Baby Boomers were the “me” generation, Millennials are the “look at me” generation.

So are women today more immodest than their mothers were? I don’t think so. I think that everyone (and especially all young people) makes poor decisions at times. The difference is that the technology now has made it so easy to take racy pictures of yourself that many more women are doing it. And that makes it socially acceptable. Back when we were young, you had to actually ask someone to take your picture. Can you imagine 40 years ago trying to hold a Polaroid camera in one hand while you took a picture of yourself in a mirror? No, it required the development of phone cameras that you can hold in your hand to make this activity do-able.

The Urban Dictionary gives one of the definitions of selfie as, “A strange phenomenon in which the photographer is also the subject of the photograph, in a subversive twist on the traditional understanding of the photograph. Usually conducted because the subject cannot locate a suitable photographer to take the photo, like a friend.”

The fact that people today would rather do it themselves shows a more individualistic time, where people have fewer close friends to ask to take a picture of them. The level of loneliness this projects is a bit sad. Paul Simon talked about this phenomenon more than 40 years ago in his song,” I Am a Rock” where he wrote: “I have my books and my poetry to protect me I am shielded in my armor, hiding in my room, safe within my womb I touch no one and no one touches me I am a rock, I am an island.”

Today, some people hide in their rooms and take pictures of themselves and then disseminate the pictures in an attempt to make a connection with another person. Rather than risk having a real in-person relationship in which they might get hurt, they are shielded by the armor of anonymity. Because “a rock can feel no pain. And an island never cries.”
Let’s hope this is just a passing fad.

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The Brilliance Behind Roe v. Wade

13 Monday May 2013

Posted by WS50 in News, Opinion

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Abortion, Harry Blackmun, Julie Seyler, News, opinion, Roe v Wade, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Supreme Court, Texas, The Write Side of 50, United States Supreme Court

"The Inside Story".  Oil on canvas.  Julie Seyler

“The Inside Story.” Oil on canvas. Julie Seyler

BY JULIE SEYLER

In 1973 the United States Supreme Court issued its decision in Roe v. Wade. Forty years later, while speaking at a symposium at Columbia Law School, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg opined that she was not sure that the time had been right for the country’s federal judiciary to legalize abortion. I was surprised that a liberal of the current court would question the rightness or timing of that decision.

The social discussion of the 1960s and 1970s was imbued with an understanding of the horror wrought on women, who, for social or economic reasons, could not afford to raise a child. Perhaps she was 18, and had just gotten admitted to college. Would it be fair to her to abort her opportunities because there was not sufficient information available about birth control? Or what if she was 40, and already had four children, and her husband made barely enough money to feed and clothe a family of six? What could they do if they became a family of seven? The law punished women by forcing them into dirty rooms in back alleys where men with wire hangers or venomous liquids would help terminate the cells that were starting to gel. There was guilt and shame and illness, and it was society’s morals, not society’s interest in public health, that governed what was legal. I remember debating the reasons for and against abortion with my friends, teachers and family.

Then in 1973, the decision came out. I recently reread the opinion of the court in its entirety. I stand in awe of this brilliant tripartite balancing of a woman’s right to privacy against the right of the state to regulate the health and safety of its citizens.

The case came before the Supreme Court because an unmarried, pregnant woman had sued the state of Texas on the ground that the law, which made it a crime to terminate a pregnancy unless the mother would die, was unconstitutional.

Just for a minor peek at how the Court addressed the topic, I quote from the opening paragraphs of Justice Blackmun’s opinion:

“We forthwith acknowledge our awareness of the sensitive and emotional nature of the abortion controversy, of the vigorous opposing views, even among physicians, and of the deep and seemingly absolute convictions that the subject inspires. One’s philosophy, one’s experiences, one’s exposure to the raw edges of human existence, one’s religious training, one’s attitudes toward life and family and their values, and the moral standards one establishes and seeks to observe, are all likely to influence and to color one’s thinking and conclusions about abortion.”

With this awareness in mind, the Court commenced its discussion on the constitutionality of the Texas statute. It provided an historical overview of abortion from ancient Greece (where “it was resorted to without scruple”), to the common law (which held that abortion was not an indictable offense prior to the “quickening” or first movement of the fetus), to the punitive statutes of the modern era that banned abortion “unless done to save or preserve the life of the mother.”

Thus the Court, in determining that a woman had an unfettered right to make her decision concerning pregnancy during the first three months after conception, did not arrive at its decision in a vacuum. It looked to history, science, medicine, philosophy, religion, and precedential case law to confirm that the Constitution guaranteed a right to privacy. However, it also acknowledged that this right of privacy was not unbridled. After that first trimester, the State could intervene and regulate the procedure to preserve and protect the health of the mother. Further at the point of “viability,” the compelling interest of potential life meant the State “may go so far as to proscribe abortion during that period, except when it is necessary to preserve the life or health of the mother.”

Why would anyone want to reverse this decision? It legitimized the right of women to have control over their body for a total of 90 days after the joining of a sperm, and an egg. Thereafter, the law of the land held that the state has a right to regulate, legislate and protect its persons. This decision, founded squarely on prior law, took into account the entire package: the person who carried the united egg and sperm, the emerging fetus, and state government.

As Justice Blackmun opined, this is, and will always be, a sensitive and emotional topic. The Court’s decision that balances an individual’s right to make the most private decision of her life against the state’s right to protect the health and welfare of its citizens embraced the Constitution, a law “made for people of fundamentally differing views…” Lochner v. New York, 198 U.S. 45, 76 (1905). 

The debate will continue. I hope future courts reaffirm and reaffirm and reaffirm the findings of the Supreme Court in 1973.

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Hollywood’s Premier Bawdy, Naughty “Golden” Girls: Get Out and See Them Sometime

21 Thursday Mar 2013

Posted by WS50 in Opinion

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Hedy Lamarr, Julie Seyler, Mae West, opinion, The Write Side of 50

Mae has all of the angles. Mixed media by Julie Seyler

Mae has all of the angles. Mixed media by Julie Seyler.

BY JULIE SEYLER

Every year the Film Forum runs a festival celebrating movies made in 1933 or earlier. Movies like “Babyface,” with Barbara Stanwyck as the heroine, who sleeps her way to the top, and “Bombshell,” starring Jean Harlow as Lola, the actress who keeps family and film crew afloat, are made available on the big screen. Unmarried women had sex. These movies tend to be, what we used to think of as, “bawdy,” perhaps a little naughty. But then along came the Hays Code and its edicts to enshrine chastity and separate the matrimonial bed.

We chose to watch a double feature. First up was “I’m No Angel,” an iconic early flick starring Mae West and Cary Grant. Mae also wrote and directed it, which meant she broke the glass ceiling in Hollywood 80 years ago. The other feature was a Czech movie called, “Ecstasy.” It starred Eva Hedgwick before she came to the U.S. and became Hedy Lamarr.

“I’m No Angel” is built on Mae West’s over the top pungency in dress and persona.  She was a zaftik dame with full thighs and hips, and her clothes accented every curve.  Frank would have loved her. Her ensembles belong on the Red Carpet of the Academy Awards, and she never used a stylist. She was provocative, but always in complete control.

The plot is about a woman who cops to being “no angel,” but she does so with such lust and joy, that it makes the alternative awfully unappealing.

Mae West: having fun by Julie Seyler.  Mixed media on paper

Mae West: having fun by Julie Seyler. Mixed media on paper.

The movie opens with Mae as Tira, the burlesque draw in a honky tonk road show. She is down and out in her luck, and consults the show’s astrologer to find out how to find the right man. After he reads her charts, she makes no move without consulting his predictions. To get some dough, and become rich and famous, Tira becomes a lion tamer, and sticks her head in the lion’s mouth. She befriends women who are nice and disses snobs. She convinces an engaged man to give her thousands of dollars worth of gifts with nothing but friendship in return. And when millionaire Cary Grant breaks their engagement, she sues him for breach of promise, and nothing else.  She has no interest in his money; she wants love. So romance wins out as we fade to Cary and Mae kissing. The End.

The second feature, “Ecstasy,” was about a young woman who marries a prig. Her marriage is never consummated, so she divorces him, and in her sadness and despair, hooks up with the virile brawny construction worker. Her pearls fling off and flowers bloom as she experiences ecstasy. Sex appeal – always in fashion.

Hedy Blooms.  Collage by Julie Seyler

Hedy blooms. Collage by Julie Seyler.

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Many Boomer Crowds are Not for The Birds

27 Wednesday Feb 2013

Posted by WS50 in Opinion

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Bird Watching, Margo D. Beller, opinion, The Write Side of 50

the birders and the boomers go birding

The birders and the boomers go birding. By Julie Seyler.

By Margo D. Beller

I enjoy a good walk in the woods with my binoculars. If my husband comes along, even better. But I get really annoyed when we find ourselves in a crowd.

We used to be considered unusual in our birding habit, but in recent years we’ve learned we are far from alone.

My husband and I, both a few years past 50, have been known to be the youngest people in an area looking for a particular bird when we go on vacation. That is thanks to having no children and being able to travel when people with kids can’t.

But that is very different on the weekends. We have found serious birders we can respect. More often we are forced to travel with flocks of families and less-respectful people around our age.atop the mountain

I can’t speak for why the families are out there. They may be trying to teach the kids about “nature“ but too often the kids are running ahead and screaming while their parents are hanging back on their phones.

As for the boomers, some, like me, may want to be challenged outdoors and look for something special that keeps them moving.

But more often it seems to be all about the cameras.

Either childless couples like us or whose children have left the nest – seem to have bought into the idea that we can use our money to do whatever we want now.

Want to tour Belize? There’s are lots of birder tours that will take you down there just as winter is coming on in the north. When you’re not snorkeling or lounging on the beach or checking out real estate you can be walked or driven through a rain forest, looking for birds you may or may not see back home. (Many northern birds, like these people, go south for the winter.)

Just as these “active adults” have bought into the idea of the large-screen TV and the computer-laden “crossover,” they want the smartphone and the point-and-shoot camera so they can travel the world capturing the birds, adding them to their life lists and displaying them on their Facebook or Flickr pages.

These are the people the medical companies love, the ones urged to replace their aching hips and their balky knees and take this pill so they can keep doing everything they did when they were younger.

These are the folks who will clamber over rocks and leave the trails to bushwack into tick-infested woods, eroding the eco-system. They can afford the expensive equipment, even if they don’t know how to use it.

I know, not every boomer is like this. Many just like to go to natural places where they can walk completely oblivious to the birds that are scattering in front of them because their dogs are running off the leash.

Then they wonder why people like me yell at them.

It’s why my husband and I do our best to avoid them.

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A Sketchy View of the Aging Body

08 Friday Feb 2013

Posted by WS50 in Art, Opinion

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

aging, Art, Julie Seyler, opinion, The Write Side of 50

Drawing by Julie Seyler

BY JULIE SEYLER

So many mysteries seem to descend on the right side of 50 body. You know, that icky age spot that pops up on the left hand; the appearance of a clump, not a strand, of gray hairs, dead center on your head. And those bags of flesh hanging just below the armpits. Lovely! We think this drawing basically sums it up.

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