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~ This is What Happens When You Begin to Age Out of Middle Age

The Write Side of 59

Tag Archives: The Write Side of 50

I’ve Come to Be a Man for All Seasons

05 Wednesday Mar 2014

Posted by WS50 in Confessional

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Bob Smith, confessional, The Write Side of 50

seasons 3

BY BOB SMITH

Friends of ours from Sydney, Australia visited us recently and, true to form for this miserable winter, it was 30 degrees with intermittent snow showers all day. And they loved it. In Sydney, they explained, it never gets cold enough to snow. In fact, during their warmest months (January and February), the temperature ranges from 66 to 79 degrees Fahrenheit. In the cool months (July being the coldest), the temperature ranges from 46 to 61. So their seasons aren’t differentiated by extreme temperature variations or cold-weather events like snowstorms. As a result, they said, in retrospect, they have a hard time distinguishing one year from another.

So, for example, if a noteworthy event in their lives were to occur on a day when the temperature was 64 degrees, they couldn’t later readily distinguish the season when it happened, because it could as easily have been a cool day in January or a warm day in July. They can’t automatically think back on the day, and recall, as we might, that we were wearing gloves and scarves and heavy leggings, and say “Oh yeah, that would have been last winter, when it was bitterly cold.”

Or remember that the event occurred, or that the happy (or sad) news arrived, just as they were finishing up raking leaves on a crisp fall day. Let’s be thankful for the clear mental marker this season gives us to define this point in our lives. Someday Maria and I may fondly recall this as the hard winter when Simon and Monica from Sydney first came to visit us at the shore, when we shared dinner and a lovely pinot noir at a deserted restaurant on the Asbury Park boardwalk, then went home, and played guitar, and sang until our fingers hurt, and our throats were raw.

Winter descends, plants die, birds flee, and the days grow short – sobering harbingers of mortality. But the dark days blossom into buds on trees, and longer twilights, and spring’s timeless cycle of renewal, followed by a riotous explosion of exuberant life, and activity in summer.

Which, dying too soon, morphs into wistful fall. The wheel is always turning, and with our starkly different seasons, we see tangible evidence of it every day. As my 50s recede into the past, each change of seasons seems a touch more poignant, colored by a greater sense that, indeed, we will each see only a finite number of them. Whether we curse that reality or embrace it, we cannot change it one whit. As this long winter draws to a close (whenever that finally occurs), I vote for embrace.

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Ukraine Crises Stirs Memories of 1960s Russian Showdown

04 Tuesday Mar 2014

Posted by WS50 in News

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Margo D. Beller, opinion, The Write Side of 50

russia 5BY MARGO D. BELLER

Anyone who grew up during the 1960s remembers “duck and cover.” At an alert, crawl under your desk and put your arms over your head, and hope the nuclear bomb lobbed by “the Russians,” as we called what was once the Soviet Union, would miss and hit elsewhere.

There was a time my boomer friends and I laughed at that memory. Today, watching the 24-hour coverage of the Ukraine crisis, we are not laughing. We’re back to fearing the Russians again.

Those of us who study history, or in my case is married to someone who does, see a strong parallel between Vladimir Putin sending Russian troops into Crimea to “protect” the ethnic Russians there, with Adolph Hitler sending German troops into the nascent nation of Czechoslovakia to protect the ethnic Germans in 1938.

You might remember what happened a year later when Hitler’s troops went from “protecting” to invading, this time Poland.

In today’s world, we have instant and constant bombardment. You can watch an invasion as it happens, not wait as our parents did to read about it in the newspapers. There are tweets, blogs and Facebook posts.

I find it overwhelming on a normal day, and these are not normal times.

Back in the 1960s, I did not understand the implications of what we were doing when we went through the “civil defense” drills and hid under our desks. But there was a real fear in the adult world the “Russians” would lob missiles at major cities, as the Cuban missile crisis showed.

My parents and their generation were finally feeling some economic security after growing up with immigrant parents trying to “make it” in the new world. They feared another world war, only this time with nuclear bombs.

“The living will envy the dead,” the Communist USSR’s Nikita Khrushchev supposedly said, perhaps mocking as he quoted from Revelations in the Bible.

Boomers, until recently, have had it easy. We grew up comfortable, and took it for granted we’d go to college and live better lives than our parents because that is what they wanted. The USSR disappeared. The US “won.” We spent our money, and buoyed the economy.

We’re older now, and times have changed.

Wages are stagnant, unemployment is high (particularly for us over 50), and those who can’t afford to retire keep working. There is fear of another economic recession. Now, like our parents, we might fear a nuclear war with the Russians.

Perhaps we can ignore the crises in the Middle East, Africa and Afghanistan (unless we have a personal connection, of course.) But for me and perhaps you, Ukraine puts us face to face with the Russians again, the “Evil Empire.” At a time of economic instability, that only heightens the tension.

We’re beyond “duck and cover.”

Remember, it wasn’t Franklin Roosevelt’s New Deal that ended the Great Depression, it was World War II. If Ukraine escalates, that economic “lift” could happen again.

We boomers won’t pay that price. My nephew and his generation will.

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Oscar Musings

03 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by WS50 in Opinion

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Academy Awards, Julie Seyler, opinion, The Write Side of 50

One is missing.

One is missing.

BY JULIE SEYLER

There are no doubt thousands that turned a blind eye to the Oscars. They have no interest that Jennifer Lawrence was wearing a strapless red Dior, or that she was up for her third Academy Award nomination in four years, and she’s all of 23. But there were millions of others who had one foot in the door, anticipating tucking into a fun night of watching who’s wearing what, and wondering whether this year’s host, Ellen DeGeneres redux, could top Billy Crystal’s Hannibal Lecter skit during the 1992 awards show, when some of us had not even reached 40 years old. Geez Louise, it seems like yesterday. All in all I thought Ellen DeGeneres was a mighty generous, relaxed and comfortable host, although the morning after comments from friends have weighed in with “too much”, “boring”, and “not edgy enough”.

I adored watching Angelina Jolie accompany Sidney Poitier to announce Best Director (Alfonso Cuaron for “Gravity” – that movie swept up). The man who starred in “A Patch of Blue” (1965), “To Sir With Love” (1967), “The Defiant Ones” (1958) and “In the Heat of the Night” (1967) is 87 years old. I can watch Sidney Poitier movies over and over again. He’s such an incredible actor.

I was in complete agreement with Bill Murray about Amy Adams dress. It was a knock-out.

It’s always a trip to check out the cosmetic surgery procedures, and this year, Goldie Hawn sort of made me gasp. I recently watched “Butterflies Are Free” (1972), for the first time and I think she may be 27 in that movie – a real pixie. I guess she is still going for the pixie look – don’t think it quite works at 68. Her smile was the same though.

I rarely relish the acceptance speech because it can be so predictable – the winner rattles through the prepared list of thank-yous, while at the same time making the PC call out to their fellow nominees. Yawn Yawn. However, I applauded Jared Leto for his for Best Supporting Actor for “Dallas Buyers Club” and Darlene Love for singing thanks for “20 Feet from Stardom.” Definitely want to see that movie.

I had seen all of two of the nine nominated movies. “American Hustle,” which I found captivating from the moment you see Christian Bale’s oversized exposed belly, and “Her,” to me a puzzlement as to why it was even on the list. Love with an operating system? I guess the novelty, along with the possibility that, yes, it really could happen in the not so distant future, kept it in the game. It turned out I do not have my hand on the pulse of the voters. Her won for best original screenplay. It was original, even if I found it a bit enervating.

The whole month of February had been one big celebration on TCM because every movie aired was, or starred, an Academy Award nominee or winner. In fact I saw a few starring Jean Hersholt. I mean they always give out the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award. It was nice to put a name to a face.

But my favorite part of the evening is when the room goes silent, and the film is rolled for the tribute to the persons that have died during the past year. It is a trip down Memory Lane to see the actors, directors and other legends of Hollywood lore, some of whom I grew up with, that are now cast in movie heaven. In a weird way, it marks how quickly time has flown, and will fly. While I knew Shirley Temple and Philip Seymour Hoffman, both of whom passed away in the past month would be honored, I’d forgotten that Joan Fontaine and Julie Harris and Peter O’Toole had also died this past year.

So now we know that “12 Years a Slave” won Best Picture, and Cate Blanchett won Best Actress, and Matthew McConaughey’s hero is himself in 10 years. I’ll definitely be tuning in next year to see who are the winners for the 87th Academy Awards. I love them!

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The Saturday Blog: Pulcinella

01 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by WS50 in Art

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Art, The Saturday Blog, The Write Side of 50

Pulcinella

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Amid the Charm of Naples, an Underbelly Lurks

28 Friday Feb 2014

Posted by WS50 in Travel

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Italy, Julie Seyler, Naples, The Write Side of 50, Travel

Delivering newspapers

Delivering newspapers on an uncongested mini-street.

BY JULIE SEYLER

I loved Naples – everything from the congested traffic that strangles the city in dead-end stoppage to the graffiti-strewn buildings. But I am a romantic. When I travel, I put blinders on, and insist upon seeing the beauty and uniqueness of a world that, in some ways, is so different from mine, and in other ways, so parallel. Sheets and shirts blowing in the wind off the balconies is almost a trademark of the city. This, I do not see in Manhattan:

laundry 2On the other hand, a Farmers’ Market is a Farmers’ Market wherever the local growers set up shop. I felt right at home in the Piazza Dante, strolling among the locals ogling the sausages, cheese, honey and vegetables carted in for the day just like in Union Square on Saturday morning: tomatoes

But underneath the red ripe tomatoes, lurks a dark side of Naples. Just before I left for my trip, I had read an article in The Times about 10 million tons of toxic waste that was buried near a region north of Naples, and the remains of the debris had likely leached into the soil. I arrived leery of fresh produce.

“The environment here is poisoned,” said Dr. Alfredo Mazza, a cardiologist who documented an alarming rise in local cancer cases in a 2004 study published in the British medical journal, The Lancet. “It’s impossible to clean it all up. The area is too vast.” He added, “We’re living on top of a bomb.”

With that kind of publicity, who needs a tomato? (Even though they looked so ripe and luscious.) Instead, besides the pizza, there was lots of delicious seafood:

Here's your orata!

Here’s your orata!

And there was the issue of the dog poop. It is scattered everywhere. I cannot say how many times Marianne saved my shoe, but it seems that Naples is on the cutting edge of dog poop technology by actually using DNA to track offenders.

The idea is that every dog in the city will be given a blood test for DNA profiling in order to create a database of dogs and owners. When an offending pile is discovered, it will be scraped up and subjected to DNA testing. If a match is made in the database, the owner will face a fine of up to 500 euros, or about $685.

So who knows if and when I shall return to Naples. But perhaps next time, the streets will be pristine. In the meantime, nothing will dim my memories of a city where I saw the sun rise over Mt. Vesuvius every morning, and a short walk led me through streets lined with baroque palazzi, and into churches and museums stuffed with some of the most beautiful art in the world.

And then there was the 45-minute train ride to the archaeological time capsule of Pompeii, where the remains of the day tell us that 2000 years ago, like today, its citizens elected their politicians,

Apollo in the Forum in Pompeii

Apollo in the Forum in Pompeii.

relaxed in the gorgeously-ornate public baths,

Ceiling of the Indoor Bath

Ceiling of the Indoor Bath.

attended regular sporting events, albeit gladiator matches, not soccer games, at the stadium,

Stadium

Stadium

and last, but never least, always enjoyed a romp in the hay.

Fresco on the Hospitality House in Pompeii

Fresco in the Hospitality House in Pompeii.

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A Day of Rejoicing, and then Mourning, for the Terranellas

27 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by WS50 in Men

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Frank Terranella, Men, The Write Side of 50

Karin

Frank and Karin.

BY FRANK TERRANELLA

As regular readers of this blog know, a few weeks ago my first grandchild was born. Bryce David is doing fine – gaining weight on mother’s milk. Life is new for him, and the long and winding road of life stretches out before him. I’m sure he will enjoy the ride. But as some sort of cosmic balance, on the very day that we gained a Terranella, we lost one.

You may recall last year that I visited by cousin in Copenhagen who shares the same name with me. While we were there, we got to spend some time with my cousin’s wife, Karin. Karin is the reason my American-born cousin has lived in Denmark for the past 40-odd years. Frank was seduced by the charms of a free-spirited Danish girl, and gave up a life in America to enjoy a long and happy marriage with her.

However, on the evening of the day (our time) that Bryce was born, Karin lost her battle with cancer. She was barely into her 60s. She was diagnosed just a few weeks before, and the end came rapidly. Perhaps that is a blessing. Frank was spared having to watch his mate for the better part of five decades suffer for months. She went quickly.

Frank and Karin’s story is full of memorable years together. And so it was more than appropriate that a memorable recording was played at her funeral. A Danish singer called Kira recorded a soulful version of “I’ll Be Seeing You,” in the style of Billie Holiday. That recording was played at Karin’s funeral. If you have never heard this recording I recommend that you download it immediately, particularly if you are a fan of jazz.

The words of the song are so poignant that I will never be able to listen to it again without thinking of Karin. And it seems to me that this song expresses universally the longing for a lost mate that is so much a part of life for many of us over 50.
The song by Sammy Fain and Irving Kahal begins:

I’ll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day and through

In that small cafe
The park across the way
The children’s carousel
The chestnut trees, the wishing well

While the song became popular during World War II as GIs went off to war in Europe and the Pacific, what widow or widower cannot embrace these words? The lives of married folk are filled with little moments like this – a cappuccino at a small café, a picnic in the park. How could we not see our loved one after they are gone in all those old familiar places? The song continues:

I’ll be seeing you
In every lovely summer’s day
In everything that’s light and gay
I’ll always think of you that way

I’ll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I’ll be looking at the moon
But I’ll be seeing you

Morning, noon and night we constantly remember a lost loved one, and live with the pain of separation. But the beautiful memories of a life together can bring us through. So, farewell Karin. You were taken from us much too early. But we’ll be seeing you in all the old familiar places, and we’ll smile.

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Mt. Vesuvius

26 Wednesday Feb 2014

Posted by WS50 in Travel

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Tags

Julie Seyler, Mt. Vesuvius, The Write Side of 50, Travel

BY JULIE SEYLER

vesuvius Mt Vesuvius Sunday 2.16.14 vesuvius-4 vesuvius from castel dell'uovo vesuvius-5 vesuvius-6 vesuvius-7 vesuvius-12mt Vesuvius from the train

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Knock on Wood: I Have a Tree

25 Tuesday Feb 2014

Posted by WS50 in Confessional

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confessional, Eisenhower Tree, The Write Side of 50

New tree

Dead center outside my window.

BY LOIS DESOCIO

Cheers! to the 100-plus-year-old Eisenhower Tree that was removed from its golf course in Augusta, Georgia last week because of damage from a Georgia ice storm.

The old pine held up (and was held together with cables for years) in spite of an attempt by President Dwight D. Eisenhower to have it removed in 1956 because his golf balls often couldn’t find their way around it. The Augusta National Golf Club stood up for the tree, and refused to take it down.

I’ve known a few good trees in my lifetime. I’m currently cheering for the mostly-dead, spindle-topped maple just outside my bedroom window in my new home. For the most part, I’ve always had a tree outside my bedroom window – a mimosa, a weeping willow, an apple blossom – so I expect to see a tree when I first wake up.

This maple is my only tree. At least the only tree close enough to my window to allow me to call it mine.

Having recently moved from property that was hemmed-in by an apple blossom that traversed up three floors and touched a window on each floor, a no-holds-barred, unbridled riot of wisteria that rained purple every spring (and came back full-force after the occasional gardener’s hacking), great big elms, ever-green junipers, and woody pines that held buckets-full of snow on their branches, I am especially grateful that the one tree in the back of my new building happens to be right outside my window. It’s solitary, unexceptional; a misplaced tree that you don’t necessarily feel drawn to look up at from below. Its branches are gangly, and offer no resplendent outreaching pattern. It grows out of a black-topped-and-yellow-lined section of the fire zone of a driveway.

And like the Eisenhower Tree, it’s in the way. It’s pushing on the fence between neighboring buildings. But unlike the powers that be at the Augusta National Golf Club that supported a tree over a president, I fear my tree’s days may be numbered.

I’m especially rooting for my maple because tree-loss is fresh on my mind. Trees were taken down by the new owners of my old house for aesthetic reasons – better curb appeal. Apparently better for them to see the house through the trees, than the trees through the house.Tank Tree

And right before I moved out, I watched my favorite juniper tree (seen here being tree-hugged by its much younger, but no less-doomed buddy) fall victim to a chainsaw because it had rooted itself on top of an old oil tank that had to be removed.

So I will knock on wood that my new tree will remain for as long as I live here. Because from the vantage point of my bedroom window, those gangly branches make for a black and blue sky. And, for the past month, those branches have been “painted” snow-white. Its matte-brown facade is looking downright glossy these days. I applaud it as one would applaud anything that still stands tall, despite physical ravages; devoid of its former sinewy youth and dewy vibrancy.

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A Four-Day Jaunt Through Neapolis

24 Monday Feb 2014

Posted by WS50 in Travel

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Tags

Italy, Julie Seyler, Naples, The Write Side of 50, Travel

stazione funiculare

BY JULIE SEYLER

It is possible to see one third of the city of Naples, Italy in four days if you start at 7 a.m., and keep walking with an occasional pit stop for pizza and a glass of wine. That will allow for an excursion to Pompeii and Herculaneum, the ancient cities felled by the eruption of Mount Vesuvius on August 25, 79. The point being, Naples, renowned for its three Caravaggios and the Farnese Collection, is a treasure chest of found wonders. The pizza is as delicious as everyone says; frozen calamari is non-existent:

Fresh octopus

Fresh octopus.

The art and architecture is mind-boggling:

Apartment building door.

Apartment building door.

The people are incredibly nice. And safety is never an issue. At least it wasn’t for Marianne (Steve’s sister) and me on our four-day jaunt over Washington’s Birthday weekend. From the minute we arrived on Thursday morning, until we were seated on the plane Monday afternoon, we did not stop.

Naples was founded in 470 B.C., and therefore is older than Rome. Its name derives from Neapolis (new city) because its initial residents were Greek. The oldest part, known as the Decumani, is a labyrinth of streets teaming with churches, stores, book shops, archaelogical excavation sites, pizza stands, restaurants, palazzi converted into apartments, where freshly-laundered clothes hang from balconies, and throngs of people. It has the vibrancy and bustle of 42nd Street on a smaller, neon-less scale:

Entering the Decumani

We walked and walked and crammed in as much as we could, including the day trip to the scavi of Pompeii and Herculaneum, where you can still see the remnants of the ancient brothels, restaurants with vats for serving hot and cold food, the baths, the training field for the gladiators, the theatre, and houses decorated with detailed wall mosaics:

Wall mosaic from Herculaneum from the Casa di Nettuno and Anfitrite

Wall mosaic from Herculaneum from the Casa di Nettuno and Anfitrite.

So after landing in Rome, and taking the train to Naples, we decided that day one would be spent looking for the Pio Monte della Misericordia, a petite church whose founders commissioned Caravaggio to do a painting for the altar depicting the seven acts of corporal mercy. Through light and dark and graphic realism, mixed with the ethereality of angels, Caravaggio’s 1607 painting, “The Seven Works of Mercy,” portrays the compassion, and kindness, of humanity.

Then we ate pizza from a street vendor, and decided we needed more pizza. We went to a restaurant, so we could sit and have a glass of wine. We walked over to the National Archaeological Museum to buy our Arte Card. This is an incredible deal. For $30, you get half-price admission to museums, and free transportation on the city buses, funiculars, and trains, including the suburban train to Pompeii. By this point, we were sort of done-in, and decided to head back to the hotel. And thanks to my inverted sense of direction, a 45-minute walk became a two-hour-and-45-minute walk, and therefore required another sit-down wine moment.

The Crypto-portico under San Lorenzo Maggiore church. 1st-2d c. A.D.

The Crypto-portico under San Lorenzo Maggiore church, 1st-2d c. A.D.

Day two started at the archaeological ruins underneath the Church of San Lorenzo Maggiore. This flipped us because the excavations reveal the foundations of a Greek city dating back to the 4th century B.C. The Romans came next, and it is possible to tour the grid-like complex of ancient streets that once pulsed with a laundromat, meat market and bakery. About 1236, French friars laid the bricks for a church that has been an active place of worship for about 900 years.

Then, after much circuitous meandering, we found The Sansevero Chapel. The floor is an optical illusion of protruding and receding space. The underground chamber houses a testament of medical learning in the 18th century: a male and female skeleton that depicts the circulatory system of the human body (including the heart and lungs), known as the anatomical machines. Every vein and artery that pulses inside our body to make the blood flow is accurately depicted:

Floor. Sansevero Chapel.

Floor. Sansevero Chapel.

The Anatomical Machines

The Anatomical Machines.

But truly the piece de résistance chapel is Giuseppe Sanmartino’s Veiled Christ. You cannot take pictures in the chapel and it is likely that a photograph, while capturing the essential elements of the sculpture, Jesus Christ lying down with a piece of cloth draped over him, could never capture the humanity, sensitivity, compassion, and vulnerability imbued in the marble.

Then it was time for some catacombs. Naples has three different venues for catacomb viewing, but the only one that was still open by this time were The Catacombs of San Gennaro. I assumed it would be filled with skulls, but due to the Black Death in the late 1300s, a city ordinance had ordered that they be removed to a cemetery on the outskirts of the city. No skulls, but in those dark underground passageways, many remnants of early saints and apostles from the 1st and 2nd centuries, when Christianity was first taking hold:

Inside the catacombs of San Gennaro.

Inside the catacombs of San Gennaro.

After we left the Catacombs, we headed over to the Capodimonte, a Bourbon Palace, converted into a museum of fine art. Getting there was no easy feat because Naples, like Rome, has no traffic lights. You sort of put your hand up into oncoming traffic and hope that the cars stop, and let you cross the street. By the time we left the museum, there were no more buses running. We hailed a cab, and sat in the typical bumper-to-bumper traffic, but finally got back to the hotel to go to sleep so we could wake up at 6 a.m. to head to Pompeii. Naples is not a relaxing vacation.

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The Saturday Blog: Pilings

22 Saturday Feb 2014

Posted by WS50 in Art

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Art, The Saturday Blog, The Write Side of 50

Dry pilings on the West Side Highway.

Dry pilings on the West Side Highway.

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