Tag Archives: opinion

Fortunate Son Number 234

04 Tuesday Dec 2012

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draft card

My son most likely will never receive a draft card – is that a good thing?

BY FRANK TERRANELLA

I was looking for something in a drawer in my bedroom recently, and came across a relic from the 1970s – my draft card.  It occurs to me that the Baby Boomer generation is in a unique position when it comes to military service. While we were the last generation of men in recent times who were saddled with compulsory military service, most of us didn’t serve.  So we are unlike our fathers, who mostly did serve, and unlike our sons, who may never have experienced the threat of compulsory service.

I think that every man my age remembers going down to the Draft Board and registering.  Those of us who were more fortunate were able to claim college or other exemptions.  The less fortunate got their induction letters, and were sent to war.

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A Thousand Words on the Vagina

03 Monday Dec 2012

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Mixed media drawing by Julie Seyler

Mixed Media Drawing by Julie Seyler

BY JULIE SEYLER

When Lo and I were getting this blog together, Naomi Wolf’s book, “Vagina: A New Biography, celebrating Wolf’s vagina, was published and reviewed all over the place.  The book is back in the news since the November 25 broadcast of the CBS television series, “The Good Wife,” had Stockard Channing, as attorney Alicia Florrick’s mother, touting the book as the must-read of the year.  The point being that Wolf’s research supporting the conclusion that the vagina is the source of all power and happiness has created a lot of buzz over the past few months. Who would not want to know that if you, the goddess, connect in to this particular orifice, you will touch nirvana.

At the time the book was published, the September 10, 2012 issue of The New Yorker had Ariel Levy simultaneously reviewing “Vagina” and the E L James’ runaway erotic bestseller “Fifty Shades of Grey”, part of the “Fifty Shades” trilogy. This amused me because these twinned reviews, in a 1000 words, seemed to encapsulate the ambiguity of a woman’s self-perceived sexuality in the early 21st century.

The September 14, 2012 Sunday New York Times Book Review approached the book completely differently.  The editors paired Toni Bentley’s incredibly witty take of “Vagina,” with a review by Jennifer Homans on Hanna Rosins’ tome, “The End of Men”, the theme of which ponders whether the feminist movement has succeeded in killing masculinity.  Now that’s a topic for a blog-a-cussion.  I divert. More on that to come …

As to these books, I have not read them and probably won’t.  I completely cop to the fact that therefore I have no right to comment.  To me, they sound boring, predictable and effortful. (I backtrack … maybe I should at least delve into the S & M kick of the “Fifty Shade” series, and then revisit the books of the Marquis de Sade to see if everything new is old again.) But I am no scholar. So take me back to the days when I discovered the classic 1970, “Our Bodies Ourselves.”  I smile – it said all I needed to know. OK, that and a few Penthouse porno tales about the housewife and the plumber.

The Year Before: Swimming Through New Currents

30 Friday Nov 2012

Posted by in Art, Opinion

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Swimming Through the Currents
By Julie Seyler

BY JULIE SEYLER

All photos and art by Julie Seyler

In our launch post on November 19, Lo wrote about how we have been thinking, gestating, mulling, ruminating, and contemplating our blog for a year.  It’s true. But originally we were food-focused foodbased, primarily because Lo loves to cook and entertain, I love to photograph, and we both love to eat. We precede any meal with an icy martini- hers dirty with as many olives as possible, mine pristine and clean – a single olive may only grace my glass.

About this time (almost a year ago to the day), we also decided to treat ourselves to a four-day jaunt to Madrid – basically to see how many tapas we could consume.P1080615

And, OK the Prado, Reina Sofia, and Thyssen-Bornemisza museums were on my to-do list as well, but Lo was thrilled with the amenities of the Palace Hotel, especially after she discovered Hemingway used to drink martinis at that same bar in the ’30s.

The trip was short (December 6-11), sweet and fabulous.  Without a doubt, the highlight was meeting our new friends, Miguel and Carmen.

After Madrid, we resumed our goal of starting a food blog, with sidebars on travel and art. We went through a variety of names like “Foodbaster, We Keep it Juicy,” and created a slew of original recipes featuring star anise.

star anise The recipes sucked (Steel Cut Oats Chicken with Blackberries and Raspberries!), and the overall concept wasn’t working.

At the same time we started noticing “things” weren’t quite the same as when we were 40. It definitely took just a bit longer to recover from the overnight flight to Madrid (Lo didn’t sleep for four days), and a dull ache in my hip, diagnosed as bursitis, was not disappearing after a six-week course of physical therapy.  In other words, we were swimming through a new set of currents – familiar, recognizable, but with a definite change in direction. And with that realization, the light went on: we want to talk about where we are now, because we are not in Kansas anymore. Ergo, The Write Side of 50 was born, and we are now 11 days old.  So here’s to us!  Have a great weekend everybody!

Marital Infidelity: It’s Perennial and It’s Personal

28 Wednesday Nov 2012

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Sliced Heart/Seared Hand by Julie Seyler

BY JULIE SEYLER

Cheaters and creeps are never out of vogue.  Whether we look at history, art, literature, theater, or current events, infidelity is always a hot topic and au courant.  In the past 20 years we’ve been treated to Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer, John Edwards, that Congressman/governor from South Carolina and the latest – David Petraeus. The discourse and debates are endless and familiar.  But when it strikes someone you know personally, it hits you in a whole different way. I have a friend, who over the past several years has had to come to terms with this issue and that is her journey.  All I can do is be there for her, and knowing her, I know she will heal and have love in her life again.

But what intrigues me is, why does it always seem easier for the cheater to lie and obfuscate than to simply state that, “This isn’t working for me.”  If the excuse is, “I didn’t want to break up the family,” or, “I didn’t want to hurt you,” that’s a total joke! Whether it is an affair or a series of one-night flirtations, the family is broken up, and the hurt ricochets over and over. When that betrayal is discovered, be it during or after the extracurricular fling, the psyche is seared.  It is as if someone took a dagger and sliced up your heart into 2000 pieces and then, as if that wasn’t enough, they decided to stomp on your mashed-up heart with a heavy black boot. 

And that scarring pain goes on for days and months.  I know, because once upon a time someone lost their passion for me. Instead of just manning-up and saying, “I’m done,” he iced me out and left me to find out, through “friends,” that he was now dancing about with “Susan.”
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39 is Not Old

27 Tuesday Nov 2012

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BY LOIS DESOCIO

Pete Lee, pictured, is a 68-year old post-collegiate lacrosse player who plays with a pacemaker.

Yesterday The Times ran this about Jason Kidd’s back spasms. The vibe was that he’s old, a “veteran,” and, “When the Knicks cobbled together their roster this summer, they emphasized experience. As they did, there were inherent risks. Now they were the oldest team in the N.B.A., and if a key veteran or two were injured, issues involving chemistry and depth would arise.”

Yes – a 39-year-old Knick is news. But there are scores of unheralded athletes who still play their beloved sport way past 39, 50, 60. I wrote this article for Inside Lacrosse magazine last summer about lacrosse players (some in their 60s) who continue to play with much more than a back spasm – including pacemakers, colostomy bags, knee replacements, hip replacements …