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The Write Side of 59

~ This is What Happens When You Begin to Age Out of Middle Age

The Write Side of 59

Tag Archives: The aging process

No More Minis

14 Monday Sep 2015

Posted by WS50 in Concepts

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Julie Seyler, Knees, The aging process

Bad knees bent mask the crepe

Bad knees bent mask the crepe

BY JULIE SEYLER

Have you noticed that people have good knees and bad knees? Or are knees completely off the radar screen of interesting body parts?

FYI, a bad knee has a crepe-y fold over appearance with a bit of puckering around the edges. To my knowledge there is no cure for bad knees. Unlike arms with a droop, where one can tether themselves to a weight lifting machine and do tricep curls ad infinitem, bad knees are incurable. Unless, perhaps, a botox injection would help plump them up.

The knee issue entered my consciousness because I am surrounded by lovely young ducks that prance the streets of Manhattan in the most adorable of thigh-high dresses and skirts. That used to be me. And then at about 57, I took note of some changes in knee action, (as well as a few other things), and adjustment started. Not that I do not don shorts, it’s just on a restricted schedule: to the beach and bbqs in my backyard.

And to be clear, I am not mourning that minis are off my radar screen because I am no longer in that age bracket of “young”. No I am simply remarking on the cliche that nothing stays the same. Who thought at 30 or 40 or even 50 that mini skirts or sleeveless shirts might have a finite lifespan in the closet?

However, I ought to quit worrying over the physical appearance of my knees and give thanks to my cartilage! At the moment no knee replacement appears to be in the offing. On the other hand, maybe that would provide an opportunity for a little nip and tuck on the pucker?

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The Unexpected: A Bigger Nose

24 Monday Aug 2015

Posted by WS50 in Confessional

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AARP, Changes in the body, Julie Seyler, The aging process

A bigger nose

BY JULIE SEYLER

We have a subscription to AARP Magazine. When I first signed up, (what was it, 5 years ago?), it was an uncomfortable fit. Now it’s a part of where I am at this stage of my life, plus it contains all sorts of invaluable information, from tips on negotiating social security to determining whether a lifetime annuity plan is a good financial option.

Viola Davis was on the cover of the August/September issue and the headlines begged to be read:

BEST. SEX. EVER! We show you how.

GET THAT RAISE

MYSTERIES OF THE BODY EXPLAINED

I jumped to MYSTERIES OF THE BODY EXPLAINED.

The scientific explanation behind the changes we get to anticipate while going through the aging process is fascinating and logical. The unstoppable physical metamorphosis is disappointing. Pragmatically, it’s going to make looking fabulous and ensuring you are smell-less challenging tasks.

Uncontrollable urine squirts
Unfixable bad breath
Green toenails as thick as a brick
Sulfur smelling feet
Jimmy Duante’s nose
More farts

At least we are all in it together.

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