Tag Archives: The Write Side of 50

A Hail to the Chiefs: Lincoln Among Presidents Who Served in Their 50s

15 Monday Jul 2013

Posted by in Concepts, Men

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

P1170371There’s a Lot Right about Being in Your 50s. By Julie Seyler.

BY FRANK TERRANELLA

It’s summer reading time, and this year my summer reading includes Doris Kearns Goodwin’s 2005 biography of Abraham Lincoln called, “Team of Rivals.” It’s all about how Lincoln stocked his administration with men who were his rivals for the Republican presidential nomination in 1860. It’s extremely detailed with lots of great material about Lincoln’s life and, more importantly, a glimpse into his mindset. A small part of it was the basis for the Spielberg film, “Lincoln” where the 16th president was portrayed by Daniel Day-Lewis.

This year, we’re commemorating the 150th anniversary of Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. Lincoln was 54 when he delivered it. Less than two years later, he would be dead. So the Great Emancipator never made it out of his 50s. His entire presidency ran from less than a month after his 52nd birthday to a couple of months after his 56th birthday. It’s a bit unsettling to think that I have already lived longer than Lincoln ever did.

I have done some research and found that Lincoln was not unusual in being in his 50s while president. According to Wikipedia, the median age when our U.S. presidents took office is 54 years and 11 months. Most of our presidents served at least part of their term while in their 50s. The list of presidents who served their entire term while in their 50s includes (in addition to Lincoln), Martin Van Buren, John Tyler, Millard Fillmore, Rutherford B. Hayes, Chester Arthur, Benjamin Harrison, William McKinley, William Taft, Warren Harding, Calvin Coolidge, Herbert Hoover, Jimmy Carter and George W. Bush.

What I glean from this is that our society feels that people in their 50s can be trusted with the reins of government. They have enough experience through more than a half-century of living so that their judgment is sound, and yet they are not so old that they no longer have the energy to do the job. Looked at this way, being in your 50s is the sweet spot in life. You’re at the precipice of ability. Oh sure, there’s a long slope to senility ahead. But for now, for many in their 50s, it’s the top of the world.

The Saturday Blog: Dancing

13 Saturday Jul 2013

Posted by in Art

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

Carmen Miranda Orchids

Carmen Miranda Orchids. By Julie Seyler.

What do you get when you combine an orchid, Julie’s incredible eye, and a love of dancing (with a fruit hat on)? Carmen Miranda, of course.

A “Bennie” Now Comes, Instead of Goes, Home

12 Friday Jul 2013

Posted by in Confessional

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

, , ,

The Bennies are here. Photocollage by Julie Seyler.

The Bennies are here. Photocollage by Julie Seyler.

BY BOB SMITH

My wife and I are about to move into our house at the Jersey Shore on a full-time basis. We bought it 23 years ago, and during that time we’ve expanded it from a single story unheated shack with two bedrooms and one bath to a year-round house with three floors, five bedrooms, four baths, and a garage apartment in back. We like our space.

Despite our ever-expanding beach house, however, we’ve only spent weekends and summer vacation weeks there. Our primary home for 28 years has been in Nutley. So, in other words, until now, we’ve been what the locals call bennies – tourists who visit the area only during the summer season.

I thought benny (or bennie), referred to the fact that seasonal visitors are only interested in taking advantage of the “benefits” of the shore during the warm weather. Others say it’s short for “benefactors” because these perennial tourists collectively spend so much money in Jersey Shore towns. Another theory, according to Wikipedia, is it’s an acronym derived from the fact that most such tourists come from in or around Bayonne, Elizabeth, Newark, and New York.

Since Nutley is a suburb of Newark, that makes us bennies.

We haven’t even moved in yet, but lately we’ve been spending a lot more time in Bradley Beach, and suddenly I realize why locals historically hate the bennies. For instance, in April and May there was always a parking space in the street right in front of my house. If I had to make a quick run to the supermarket, I could hop in my car, and make the mile and a half drive in three minutes flat. No problem.

No more. After the unofficial kickoff of the season on Memorial Day, weekend parking spaces on the street (at least on sunny weekends) are nonexistent. That’s really not a problem for us, because we’re fortunate enough to have a driveway. But pulling out is a total crapshoot. Because the bennies‘ cars are parked bumper to bumper without a millimeter to spare right up to both edges of our driveway, it’s impossible to see oncoming traffic as you pull out. To get any sight line down the street, you have to extend the front (or back) of your car past the parked cars, directly into the lane of travel.

Twice last weekend, as I inched out of my driveway, I had to jam on the brakes to avoid being slammed by benny-full vehicles barreling down the street without a clue or a care in the world. They didn’t even beep – just swerved and kept rolling. Both had New York plates.

At the supermarket on Saturday morning I was sixth in line at the checkout counter, and each customer ahead of me wore a Yankees cap, or a sleeveless t-shirt with loud boxer bathing trunks, or sneakers with black socks, or all of the above. Their carts were full of chips, cold cuts, salsa, and soda. Bennies, all.

We went out to dinner, and had to wait an hour for a table at a restaurant that in May had been begging for our business. A stop at the ice cream shop for dessert afterwards featured squalling babies, squabbling siblings, and their weary sunburned parents hoping to anesthetize the kids with fat and sugar for the long ride home. Bennies, again.

There’s no doubt that the Jersey Shore is a great place to be during the summer. But during the off season, when it’s unclogged by bennies, it’s a virtual paradise. Once you spend even a portion of the off-season at the Jersey Shore, you get spoiled by the convenience of unfettered access to parking, shopping, restaurants, movies, and more.

When I was a benny, I scoffed at the locals’ proprietary attitude toward their parking spaces, and dismissed as selfish their sense of entitlement to immediate service at restaurants and retail stores. Come on, I thought – people like us are pumping cash by the millions into your local economy! You should be thankful, not scornful, that I’m here at all.

Now that I’m becoming a local, however, I’ve wised up. The bennies are only fair-weather friends, here to enjoy the amenities while the sun shines. But the locals – now me – are here for the long haul, through the rain, wind, snow, ice and whatever other nasty weather nature may throw our way during the long off-season. For that, I’m entitled to my own parking space.

But only until the end of May.

Friends with Food is a Recipe for Fun

11 Thursday Jul 2013

Posted by in Food

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , ,

Talk, drink, eat. Photocollage by Julie Seyler.

Talk, drink, eat. Repeat. Photocollage by Julie Seyler.

BY JULIE SEYLER

Food and friendship are entwined like the DNA double-helix. Getting together with a girlfriend for a night out of schmoozing and sharing a bottle of wine translates into comfort mileage for days. It’s really not about the food as much as figuring out a date that will work, finding the restaurant with the perfect blend of atmosphere, charm, and price points. It’s ordering up the pre-meal cocktails, and tucking into a good conversation. And everything is up for discussion – from the sublime to the ridiculous to the usual musings. And sometimes, those shocking discoveries that seem to pop up these middle-aged days. It’s about hanging with a buddy that never gets tired of the rehash.

It’s about renewal and reconnection and breaking the strong arm of the quotidian.

It’s so not about gender. Or age. And it’s so time to make a date.

Me, My Bike, and a Pedal from Park to Park

10 Wednesday Jul 2013

Posted by in Travel

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , , ,

vicki head

BY VICKI LABELLA

We’ll be “hitting the road” across America, with our new contributor, Vicki LaBella. She’s a 56-year-old avid cyclist from the Jersey Shore, who has racked up thousands of miles on two wheels. She’s conquered a coast to coast, has traversed the ups and downs of hills, highways, the back roads of America, and village streets in Europe. This year, it’s a two-month trek to our nation’s national parks.

I’m fortunate to be working again with Cycle America, a supported cycling concern, this summer as we prepare to embark on our tours of the national parks. cycle america 2 We’ll begin our journey in Whitefish, Mont. on July 14, and will end in San Francisco, Ca. on September 8th. I’m currently in Cannon Falls, Minn., helping with the organization, and the multitude of preparations for the pending tour. The adage,”the devils in the details,” has never been proved more accurate than during this process.There are more items, details and minutia than I will bore you with, but believe me, each must not be forgotten nor scrimped on, or the consequences will come to light down the road.license plate - vivki blog

It’s my second year with Cycle America as a staff member. Last year’s tour was a cross-country trek that began in Seattle, Wash., and ended in Gloucester, Mass. The staff consisted of 12 of us, from literally all parts of the world. This year, there are six staff members. Of the six, five are veteran staffers, who come from New Zealand,Texas, New York, New Mexico, New Jersey, and Colorado. The riders also come from all over the world. Last year’s cross-country trip had cyclists come from Norway, England, Canada, Israel, Australia, Netherlands, France – just to name a few. The length of time we spend together, and the diversity of the riders, makes for an interesting and memorable time. Even though there are patches of extreme exhaustion and resultant grumpiness, the fun and privilege of being a part of this unique experience far outweigh the negative periods.

The main priority of the staff, along with our daily duties, is to ensure that each cyclist is happy (as happy as one can be while cycling some challenging climbs and enduring extreme high heat), and their needs are met. Those needs can be as simple as providing soy milk at each meal for the vegans amongst us, or as extreme as driving a rider’s car along the route so they will have their vehicle at the ride’s end. Each day presents a new set of circumstances for the riders and, subsequently, the staff. We must remain diligent and mindful of the riders’ physical, mental and emotional conditions.

One of the most satisfying things for me is to watch the cyclists bond with one another, and become stronger riders along the way. It never fails that there are a handful of cyclists who struggle at the beginning and, by the ride’s end, are solid, sound riders. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is more moving than witnessing the end of each ride when the cyclists are proud (with good reason), and elated to have completed the ride, even though there were times when the cycling was daunting, and the outcome looked bleak. The sense of accomplishment is immense, and one that stays forever. It’s a job well done. New friends are made along the way. We discover what we’re really capable of, and just how much grit we each possess. God, I love cycling, and am grateful to be a part of the cycling world.

Once our ride officially begins, I’ll be sharing some of the high times, and some of those dark days with you. Until then, why not get on your bikes and pedal, pedal, pedal? Please though, unlike when Lois was young, do wear your helmets and shoes (or sandals)!! There’s nothing better to cure whatever may be emotionally or mentally ailing you. Trust me.

The Tagline: Keep it Simple, S*****

09 Tuesday Jul 2013

Posted by in Concepts

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , ,

cloud mountains from prop plane back to GC

Let’s be clear.

BY LOIS DESOCIO

From its birth, Julie and I wanted “The Write Side of 50” to be a forum for us 50-somethings to figure out, through our words and our art, how to navigate and shed some light on all the “stuff” that comes with being on the side of 50 that is closer to 60.

That we, “An Artist and a Journalist,” would “Demystify, Debunk and Debate the Myths Around Being in Your 50s.”

Well, eight months in, we agree that while there has been some “debate:”

“Before the Oil,There Was an Olive”
“An E-mail Ode (And Reply) to the Oyster Pearl.”

And a few (kinda) “debunks:”

“Men in Mid-Life: Puberty Revisited? Or a Time to Grow Up?”
“I Don’t Man-up for the Super Bowl.”

What the heck have we “demystified?” And what, exactly, does that mean?

One of the hardest things to write is a tagline. To compose a catchphrase that’s smart, succinct, and short. A sentence that tells you who we are, and why we’re here.

We think we overdid it the first time around. We think we might have confused some of our readers, and we, ourselves, have been collectively cringing, every day, when we log on, and that sentence is the first thing we see.

It takes a year or more for a blog to find its voice, and we 50-year-olds are not to be contained and imprisoned by a sentence. We never run out of ideas. We have the gift of perspective, the realization that we’re halfway done, and the wisdom to make the best of what’s left. (And as Bob so honestly wrote – we also know that we could drop dead any day now.)

So, it’s time to unshackle ourselves from those three Ds, and better reflect the voice that has evolved all on its own over the last eight months. We want a tagline that’s looser, less cryptic and not wordy. (And no more alliteration, please!) So let’s just say it:

“This is What Happens When You Hit the Right Side of Middle Age.”

Stay tuned. We are blowing open our vault, and bringing on some inspiring new contributors. Anything goes.

Staying Cool from 5 to 50 and Beyond

08 Monday Jul 2013

Posted by in Concepts, Opinion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , ,

AC...and the most refreshing drive you'll ever experience.

AC…and the most refreshing drive you’ll ever experience.

By Frank Terranella

Being over 50 means remembering when there was no Internet, no cell phones, no ATMs and no cable television. It means remembering a time when seat belts were optional equipment in cars, and most cars did not have air conditioning.

I was reminded of this last item recently while driving on a 90-degree day. Since almost all cars today have air conditioning, I saw no one whose windows were down. And yet I can remember driving with the windows down. As kids we would even stick our hands and (if our parents weren’t paying attention) our heads out the window like the family dog.

It was a great sensation to have the hot air rushing by – sort of like a do-it-yourself fan.
And of course, back in the ‘50s and ‘60s fans were everywhere in the summer. We had them in our bedrooms at home and in our classrooms at school. They didn’t do much good, but it was better than nothing.

A few years ago I was asked by a young boy, “What did you do before air conditioning.” I answered truthfully, “We were hot!” It’s similar to the question, “What did you watch when there were only seven TV channels?” Answer: “We watched the seven channels and were thankful for them.”

The point is that before we got air conditioning in our cars and in our homes, we simply made do with fans and cold drinks. That was what made summer different from winter. We experienced the full force of the season back then, and we survived it. I swear that a major part of the attraction of going to the movies back then was the air conditioning.

Don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely no desire to go back to those days any more than I have a desire to return to a time without the Internet. I was thrilled when my father had an electrician install an air conditioner in our house. I felt more civilized when I bought my first car in 1976 and it had air conditioning.

In fact, if you’re over 50 you may remember an Easter when the temperature was in the 90s. That was 1976 and I had just brought home my new Pontiac. I reveled in riding down the road with my windows up and the air conditioning blasting out cool air. That thrill alone was worth the car payments. I remember driving with my brother and pointing out all the cars with their windows down, the poor souls without air conditioning. Of course, I had my comeuppance soon afterwards when the air conditioning broke down and I had to take the car to the dealer – with the windows down!

I am struck by how much we over-50s have come to depend on things like cell phones, ATMs and air conditioning that we lived without years ago. My mother, who is 85, hibernates most of the summer in her air conditioning. She never loved the heat, but now she’s terrorized by it. Air conditioning makes summer bearable for her. She also has a cell phone.

Being over 50 means that you have some context when (such as in a blackout) life hits you with a deprivation of some modern convenience. We may not like losing a modern convenience like a cell phone, but we can deal with it. We simply go back to 1970s mode and find a pay phone. But no matter what else happens, we just hope to God they don’t take away our air conditioning!

Happy Fourth of July

04 Thursday Jul 2013

Posted by in Art

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, ,

Fourth of July

Art by Julie Seyler.

The Write Side of 50 is going to take advantage of this long Independence Day weekend by going on a short four-day hiatus. We’ll be back on Monday. We recommend you do the same. Enjoy, everyone. And Happy Birthday, America.

It’s July 4th. I’ll Be Watching “1776”

03 Wednesday Jul 2013

Posted by in Men

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

1776

By FRANK TERRANELLA

I was a history major in college, and I still read more books in the history genre than any other genre. I think that knowledge of history provides the same sort of long-view perspective that age does. I also have been a lifelong lover of theater. And so it is not surprising that one of my favorite musicals, “1776,” combined my love of history and theater. The musical concentrates on the days prior to the signing of the Declaration of Independence.

Writer Peter Stone did a masterful job of crafting an enjoyable show without sacrificing historical accuracy. Oh sure, he combined some characters, and took some liberties with the timing of events, but he managed to preserve the essence of the story, and got all the major details right. Sherman Edwards wrote the great score.

The show was on Broadway in 1969-1972, in anticipation of the approaching bicentennial in 1976. William Daniels played John Adams, Ken Howard was Thomas Jefferson and Howard DaSilva was Ben Franklin. The trio reprised their roles in the 1972 movie.

I wish I could say that I saw it on Broadway, but I didn’t. My first contact with the show was a production at my college. I was briefly the theater critic on my college paper, and “1776” was one of the shows I reviewed. Needless to say, I gave it a rave review, and then enjoyed the film version as well.

I bring all this up because there is July 4th tradition at my house. Every year since the DVD of “1776” was released more than a decade ago, I play the movie on the morning of July 4th. It serves to remind me, and my family, why we have the day off. It also serves to remind me what is good about this country. It is so easy to lose sight of the founders’ dream in a world where Democrats and Republicans cannot agree on anything. It shows that people from disparate backgrounds can, when they try hard, reach a compromise that furthers the public good.

In the case of “1776,” the compromise was over whether slavery would continue in the new nation being formed. Despite the wishes of Adams, Franklin and Jefferson that slavery be phased out, Southern insistence on preserving their “peculiar institution” threatened to sink the new ship of state before it could be launched. The three founders saw that they could not stand on the principle that “all men are created equal,” but instead had to essentially “kick the can down the road” by maintaining the slavery status-quo in the interest of giving birth to a new nation. It was left to men of Abraham Lincoln’s generation to deal with the issue, four score and seven years later.

Watching “1776” each year provides some perspective on the turbulent political time we have been experiencing since 2001. It provides a reminder that statesmen (and women) who put the good of the country over partisan principle are the people who will be revered by later generations. Give it a watch this year. It’s usually on television around the 4th. Your Independence Day experience will be all the richer for it.

The Treadmill: A Fast Run-in-Place, to Slow Down Time

02 Tuesday Jul 2013

Posted by in Men

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , ,

treadmillBY BOB SMITH

For the past twenty years or so, I’ve run on a treadmill, for 45 minutes straight, at least three to four days a week. I started doing it shortly after I turned 35 to avoid a heart attack, figuring that if I took care of the single most important muscle in my body, it would take care of me. Depending on my mood (and speed), I’ll cover anywhere from three to four miles a day. And it’s worked so far-no heart attacks yet. Knock wood.

But believe me, I have no love whatsoever for running – on a treadmill or anywhere for that matter. Your heart is pounding, you’re breathing heavy, you’re sweating profusely – it’s like having sex minus all the pleasure. Even with the TV screen that’s attached to every treadmill in any self-respecting modern gym, it’s still the most boring activity on earth. But I can’t run on the street, having learned years ago that my shins splinter from repeated impact on a hard surface. So to get the aerobic benefits of running, I’m stuck with the treadmill.

Lately, however, I’ve come to look at it in a different light. If you think about it, the treadmill is the ultimate time machine. Use it regularly, and you’ll probably live longer (Although there’s no guarantee. Remember Jim Fixx, one of the early popular exercise gurus, who dropped dead of a heart attack at age 52 while jogging?) But whether you live longer or not, it definitely feels that way. Time literally slows down when you step on the treadmill. The same thing happens when you settle into the dentist chair, and he or she revs up the drill – smiling and bearing down for that first chiggering bite into the enamel.

Any other half hour of your life could pass with you hardly noticing, which probably explains why: you’re not paying attention most of the time, so time flies by. But when you’re on the treadmill, running to keep up with the machine, you have to concentrate on every step, every second, or you’ll fall flat on your face. It’s a matter of focus – time seems to pass more slowly because you’re acutely aware of each moment as it ripens from the present into the past.

It’s like the old joke about why married men live longer. They don’t – it just feels that way. Actually, some say married men live longer because they’re hanging on, waiting for their wives to die, so they can enjoy being single again. The treadmill is the same thing – you hang on, waiting for the seconds and minutes and miles to tick by so you can stop, and be normal again.

If only there were a way to live that way all the time. After all, if focusing on the unpleasantness of jogging balloons each minute into a mini eternity, why couldn’t focusing on the joy in other fun stuff we do have a similar effect and make life that much more enjoyable? Unfortunately, things don’t seem to work out that way. We seem to be wired to have time trickle by slower than molasses in January, when life is painful or hard. But when things are fun, the hours scatter, and disappear like dandelion seeds in a summer breeze.

I think I’ll get up tomorrow, and hit the treadmill, and then try to hang on to that focus for the rest of the day. If you see me walking around with a big smile on my face for no apparent reason, you’ll know why.